Aug 242010

As you all know, I go out networking. I go out networking OFTEN. So much so that most of my networking pals are quickly becoming good friends (whether they know.. er like it or not).

The funniest was the other night when I was accosted by one of my favorite married hot men friends. I had barely walked in before he’d pulled me aside and away from everyone.

“What was Jack doing with you the other night?”

Umm Mike and I are good friends… or so I think.. but we’re not THAT good of friends, and I had no idea why he thought I was with Jack. Or why he’d be so frantic about it. Jack barely knows who I am.

“Uh whaaaaaa?”

“Jack, you two were together the other night. He was bragging about it.”

Still completely clueless about what in the hell he was talking about..

“He was what? when? why? huh? I’m totally confused.”

“He told everyone he was with you at your place the other night. Everyone. Didn’t you know? What’s going on?”

I must have looked at him like he was completely off his rocker.

“Uh Jack wasn’t with me. Jack & I have talked like once..”

He interrupts. “No he’s telling everyone..”

I interrupt. “Wait.. wait.. what night was this?”

Turns out it was a huge misunderstanding and an extended joke from the group that Jack and I’d been talking in that last night I’d seen him.

Mike however interpreted the joke as Jack taking advantage of me or tarnishing my honor or my good name.

Once I put two and two together, I couldn’t stop laughing. I probably offended Mike by my incessant laughter, but it was just too funny.

After years of having everyone and their dog assume and accuse me of being some kind of whore, I find it hysterically funny that anyone would want to defend my honor. (Maybe thats just the bitter old woman in me?)

I was however extremely flattered that Mike felt inclined to check on me. He pretends to be a big ass, grumpy and antisocial, but he’s really just a huge sweetheart.  His wife is too, but don’t tell them I said that… I’d hate to ruin their reputation. 🙂

Later that night, I found myself trapped in conversation with a group of geek-boys. Hot young geek-boys. They said they were 23.. or around there. They were new to town and I’d briefly met them earlier in the week. Being the big mama-bear that I am, I felt all protective and wanted to introduce them to people.

I tried, but the more I tried the more they seemed to single me and Roma into conversation. I couldn’t tell if they were doing the divide and conquer… One of them taking me aside so another of them could talk one on one with Roma.. or if the guy talking to me really was that interested. It was hard to tell.

But they would not leave us alone or let the conversation fade. Which was fine with us for the most part as there wasn’t really much of anyone else to talk to, and they were fucking smart and hot. Well the one I was talking to was anyway. I’d end up getting distracted, introducing them to someone walking by, and suddenly he’d engage me in conversation again. I gave the boy plenty of outs to talk to anyone else, and yet he chose me. Roma was having the issue with one of the other boys.

As we walked back to the car, we started sharing notes.

“They really seemed intent on talking to us.”
“I know, it was kinda surreal.”
“Do you think they had any clue how old we are?” (Both of us are a good 14 yrs older than them)
“I don’t know. From the way they were talking to us, I’m pretty sure they thought we were much younger. Or they have that whole “The Graduate” thing going on.”

Roma laughed. We agreed that they had to have thought we were closer to their age. She herself forgets that I’m her age, and instead thinks I’m in my late 20’s.

Not that it matters much. The guy I was talking to was hot enough… dark hair, gorgeous.. looked a bit like the actor on Kyle XY.. which is enough for me.. I mean as long as I’ve ascertained that he’s legal.. and this guy is.

We’ll see if I run into him again.

Aug 122010

(I might need this book)

This week has been an emotional week for me. It doesn’t help that I’m all full of hormones run rampant.

Nearly everything that I thought was stable and safe.. went horribly wrong. Thankfully, there were also some equally fantastic things going right this week, or I might have just packed up my crap and moved back in with my parents uninvited. Old people need a caretaker right?

My stress level right now is toggling between “give up, and start packing to live out of a shopping cart” and “seeing the light at the end of the tunnel”.. with very little middle ground.

Between all this.. is a bunch of unresolved emotional crap that reared its head.

I don’t know how to forgive people who have hurt me. Or at least, that I perceive their actions as hurting me personally. Maybe its more of abandonment?

See I used to be friends with some people that I met through different means. They then met each other, and I honestly think I might be a good part of the way that some of them met each other, but thats another story.

One day I woke up and they’d all decided not to be my friends anymore. Well ok, that’s not exactly how it went. They decided not to be friends with an acquaintance of mine, and they decided not to include me in their new clique. So right now, they feel more like they’ve taken the stance of enemy than friends that I no longer talk to.

I no longer see most of them around. I figured if they didn’t want to be friends with me, I didn’t need to try to be friends with them.

But now and then I see them courting a few of my friends that stood by me during the whole fallout and friends that never knew anything about it, and I can’t help but relive the hurt.

Its a completely selfish “How can they be friends with them, and not me? What did I ever do?” It’s insane, and crazy, and I know it.

I just don’t know how to get past this…

And I sure don’t want my previous experiences with these people to affect current friendships or to make mutual friends feel the need to take sides. Because that’s not very loving or fair, and not how I like to behave.

Maybe I’m just too much of a hormonal emotional basketcase right now. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and be fine.

For now.. lots of wine, a box of tissues, and a chick-flick.

Jul 302010

Ok.. so I go to this gathering of the geek squad. Well it wasn’t exactly for the geek squad.. I mean it wasn’t for people who work for Best Buy or anything.. cuz I don’t, and honestly most of the people in attendance were way over qualified to be of that kind of geek squad.

Evie had invited to me to it a week or so ago, but I’d already planned on going. It’s wierd getting geeky invitations from her because for all intents and purposes she’s not a geek. She’s not even introverted. She’s an extroverted .. sex addict.. ok maybe not a sex addict.. man addict who just happens to be semi-geek-literate, and a text-fiend. She normally does not run in my geek circles.

That said, she does often do her best to snag each and every geeky man that comes across our mutual paths. She does not usually play fair and entices them with a very open and raw sexuality that well… is like a bilboard for “I’m open for sex”.

As such, I kinda dread her being around when I’m networking or meeting potentially single men, because the only way to get a guy’s attention away from her is to out-sex her or play on his prudishness.. which most geeks have no prudishness, and its nearly impossible to out “sex” her without laying on the table naked begging them to do you. Whatever you do, she’ll do it bigger.

While none of you are under the impression that I’m innocent.. I am not one to out and out sell myself as a whore. (Sorry guys)

So anyway, I was dreading going and having to deal with her, but when I got there.. There she was sitting outside of the group.

I greeted my friends that were there, then went to say hi to her. She immediately started in on the group. Calling them nerds and saying that they were useless.  She complained like she’d expected there to be some Adonis there, and instead was surrounded by Hobbits.

“Sorry, these are my people.” I said to her, trying to imply that she was insulting me. Cuz she was. I didn’t even try to defend my geeky pals, because they needed no defense. She did. (Btw she has no room to name call any of them, as she’s dated some way ugly and geeky guys.. seriously, people I wouldn’t even think to touch.)

Mostly I think she was just upset because she’s used to being the “girl of the party” and myself being “the wallflower”.  At this group though, 80% of the people know me, and if not like me, they at least respect me. They’re not readily tricked by slutty girls, plus most of them are married. They’re much more interested in your brain and if you can manage witty banter.  So while she sat unattended, I flitted around the party saying hi and catching up.

I met one of the guys I’ve been flirting with online.. He didn’t know it was me, and seemed less than interested to even stick around long enough to find out. So really less than interested. Which is fine, to each their own.

I did however meet a very hot and sexy German/Dutch/Something Dude. Accent. Geeky. Hot. And he was socially capable.. Should be illegal. I’ll be stalking him to find out if he’s married. We didn’t get a chance to talk much. (Hot Foriegn guys seem to attract all the females.)

What shocked me the most… I’d been running into this other guy for months now. Actually, I think he was one of the guys in a post a while back. I never knew for sure if he was single or not.. and in the last networking party, he seemed to be married or at the very least in a long-term relationship, so I’d written him off.

Turns out this hottie is in an open relationship. SOOOOOO tempting. I’m just not sure I could do it.. but I do know that the sex would be HOT.  He touched my arm while we were talking and little bolts went up my arm. Mmmmm

He’s also smart.. has great eyes.. and gazes into yours when you talk to him, and generally ignores everyone else. So good for the ego to feel like the center of someone’s concentration now and then.

(PS – David didn’t show like he’d RSVP’d that he would. Oh well..)

Jul 202010

(otherwise known as I’m stupid, and should know better)

I think I need someone to schedule my life for me. Or at least someone that I’m supposed to call to get me out of doing things.

See.. this weekend, Evie talked me into going out with her to something that I really didn’t care to go to, but since I had no other real plans and didn’t want to sit at home.. I acquiesced.

She called me while I was out and described the event as a hip new thing. It was this new bar/microbrewery/co-op kind of thing, and said we should check it out.

When she told me that it was going to be like the 512 or Live Oak or Independence Brewery things.. I said no. She insisted that it’d be fun and there would be lots of people there.

And that’s what got me. The lots of people. Meaning a possible selection of men to flirt with.. She did remind me that “Creepy Dude” was going to be there.

I told her that I didn’t like CD, and that he made my skin crawl. Honestly, some of his movements remind me of the creepy old guy (65+) who used to stalk me when I was in HS (16 yrs old.), so just being around him for more than 5 minutes leaves me highly irritable, fidgety, and wanting to run like the wind.

I figured that confession would limit her throwing the two of us together, and that we’d keep away from CD. It did not.

Instead, when I called her from my car because I couldn’t find parking and asked if it was really that important, and amazing.. she replied..

“Oh yes its awesome. CD & I are now members. Its fantastic and there’s a ton of people here. You have to come.”

So I stalked people that were leaving and followed them to their cars to steal their parking spot, and went in.

I find Evie.. and its just Evie and CD. No one else. Sure there were tons of people there but no one that she or even CD were talking to.

Then I decide to go get a beer, and CD decides to go with me. The line to get a beer is phenomenally long and after 20 minutes of waiting in line with CD, I was tossing around the idea of homicide vs suicide… because there was no escape. Once in line, you were kinda trapped in line, and CD refused to stand there in silence. He instead spent the entire 40 minutes or so of our waiting to pepper me with questions about everything, which not only had the effect of irritating the crap out of me, it also made it appear as if we were on a date.

I had to force myself to be nice back. Everyone seems to love CD. I don’t get it. I never have. Since the first I met the guy, my skin has tried to crawl off my body every time he gets within 5 feet of me. I’ve only met one other girl who also has that aversion to him. Everyone else seems to think he’s just a nice guy. So I try to be nice to him.

What I end up managing  is distant apathy with obvious attempts not to be glaringly rude. Yet the guy still does not pick up on the fact that I don’t like him. (I swear that actually scares me more.)

Anyway, so I get a beer, and by that time I’m needing one.. or many. Honestly an entire bottle of vodka would have hit the spot.

So I take a couple gulps of the beer. This is new beer to me, and since I didn’t have time to prepare ahead of time and research the brand or ingredients.. I was taking some big risks testing it (allergies) but man I wanted a drink.  It was supposed to be a wheat beer, so I figured the chances of my allergens being in it were relatively small. I figured they’d probably use trace amounts of something  in the processing, so it might affect me a little.. but not that big.

I had maybe the 1/3 of the glass, just a few ounces.. and I was feeling funky. So I gave the rest of the beer to CD, as I waited for the reaction to hit it’s peak.. aka see how bad it was.

I honestly don’t know what they used in that beer, but I can guarantee you it wasn’t just wheat. About 20 minutes later, I’m walking to my car and I’m having trouble walking. My legs aren’t working right, and I’m staggering like a drunkard. It’s taking all my concentration to remain upright. My head is spinning, and I’ve got a headache.

I get to my car and down a couple benadryl and wait. It doesn’t take long and I’m able to function again, but I’m still not in a very good mood and I’ve still got that headache.

Evie had talked me into going to karaoke at a place nearby. She said if it was boring we’d go somewhere else. She also promised to pay for me and provide me with booze. I assumed it was a bar by her description, so that’s where I was headed.

It was not a bar. It was a BYOB place. Which is fine if Texas didn’t have f’d up laws about alcohol sales, and if it wasn’t after the liquor stores had closed. So I was stuck with whatever her friends had brought.

Her friends were maybe 23 at the oldest. Evie’s nearly 30. CD is probably 45-50. So the 3 of us did not really fit in well. It was awkward, and the alcohol was all… well… college drinks. So.. it was either stuff I was allergic to (no thanks, I was already f’d up), or stuff that would give me a huge hangover. Joy!

The place was also full of snacks.. all of which I was allergic to. It was a tiny unventilated room, about the size of my bedroom, with 10 people eating and breathing on me.  I took more benadryl. I even took a prednisone.

When I got up and actually attempted to sing a song (that should have been my first clue that I was not “OK”) and nearly passed out because I couldn’t catch my breath.. I left.

The minute I walked out of the room, I could breathe again.

I will be marking that nights activities as things I will not be doing again, and I really need to permanently mark Evie down as someone I just do not have fun with. Mostly because she’s selfish and will lie or say anything to get others to do what she wants.

I spent Sunday and Monday feeling quite a lot like roadkill. The night was soooo not worth it.

Plus.. if I ever see CD again.. it will be way too soon.