Aug 172010

I was planning on leaving this entire thing out of my blog, but since it was kinda announced on Twitter.. and some people are chomping at the bit to hear how things went.. I feel somewhat obligated to include at least a portion of the events here.

I’m a bit nervous about including these events, because he reads this.. religiously… and thus can see exactly what I’m thinking… which … well… might be a slightly different perspective from what he’s heard straight from me.. worse case might upset him or give him an annoyingly big ego.

So.. here I go at my attempt to be honest with you.. and still keep things within the limits of “Things I’m Willing To Let Him Know”.

To be perfectly honest, up until about a week or so ago, I wasn’t taking his visit very seriously. I was pretty sure he was a harmless nutjob or not ready for dating. Then we got to talking, and I started to care for him more than I planned.

What started as a joke of a “weekend sex-a-thon” suddenly, became more of a “date”. Yet, I still stuck to my guns on our initial agreement of no pictures. Err… well I’d seen pictures of him, he insisted he didn’t need pictures of me and I held him to that.

So if I really needed to, I could show up and see him and walk out and he wouldn’t be the wiser.

We agreed to meet at a locally owned bar downtown. He got there before I did, and texted me that he’d arrived. I walked in a few minutes later, and searched the bar for his face. I didn’t see him at first, then as I walked further inside, I saw his profile.

He turned to look at me as I pulled up a chair; I looked at his face and said to myself, “Oh yes.. yes yes yes.”

He’s tall, though not as tall as I’d imagined 6’4 would be, and he’s pretty damn cute.  In certain lights, he’s cute & attractive, in others he’s motherfucking hot.  He’s no twig man either, and bulky enough that I had absolutely no fear of breaking him… but not so bulky that I was afraid of being broken myself.

So I sat down and we talked. For the first 30-40-50-120 minutes or so, I can’t tell you what we talked about.

See my inner-monologue was going… “Kiss me!” “I wonder if he’ll kiss me?” “Oh shit, what if he thinks I’m ugly?” “Damn it kiss me”

Then once when he was done talking with his hands, he rested his forearm on the table touching my forearm.

“Does that mean he likes me? I mean… fucker! kiss me already!!”

Have I mentioned before that I have little patience?

Somewhere after that.. I can’t tell you how long, because I suck at the passage of time when I’m waiting for hot men to kiss me. Hell, I suck at the passage of time most days anyway, but distract me with a hot man.. and I’m completely useless with time… He kissed me.

I’d love to tell you that the first kiss was a knock-your-socks-off kiss. It wasn’t. We had some negotiating to do. He likes to start kisses with his mouth open. I like to start kisses with my mouth closed with passion progressing to open.

He changed his kissing style to mine, nearly immediately. (Smart man)

From then on out that evening, it was a mobile make-out session. PDA and everything, as I showed him around the downtown bar scene which as it turns out neither of us really cared about.  I’d be surprised if he could tell you which bars we went to or what they looked like. We were kinda.. well… preoccupied.

He was a gentleman the entire time… despite our PDA sessions.. opening doors, holding my hand, arm around me, and took charge of getting drinks or whatever else needed tending to. He did this adorable thing of kissing my forehead now and then, and his shoulder is just at the right height for me to rest my head against.

He also was very conscious the entire weekend about making sure I was taken care of.. safe.. and comfortable. More so, than any man has ever been my entire life. It was strange, exciting, encouraging, and in some ways like walking into some kind of storybook.

Anything I needed.. any complaints.. suggestions.. whatever.. and he (not always without complaint though) did his best to make sure I was happy and content… if not jubilant.

To understand the full extent of the testing he went through, you’d have to know a whole lot more about me.. but let me say this.. I am not an easy person to date when it comes down to reality. The hoops you have to jump through in order to be with me in any kind of daily way are pretty big. Even after this weekend of “Dating Maruska 101” crash course, he still seems willing to stay in the running. I was pretty damn sure that would scare him off.

We still have a few things to iron out, and work through. We’re still keeping things open and casual until then.. but there’s hope.. that maybe.. some day.. this might turn out to be something great.

Jul 202010

(otherwise known as I’m stupid, and should know better)

I think I need someone to schedule my life for me. Or at least someone that I’m supposed to call to get me out of doing things.

See.. this weekend, Evie talked me into going out with her to something that I really didn’t care to go to, but since I had no other real plans and didn’t want to sit at home.. I acquiesced.

She called me while I was out and described the event as a hip new thing. It was this new bar/microbrewery/co-op kind of thing, and said we should check it out.

When she told me that it was going to be like the 512 or Live Oak or Independence Brewery things.. I said no. She insisted that it’d be fun and there would be lots of people there.

And that’s what got me. The lots of people. Meaning a possible selection of men to flirt with.. She did remind me that “Creepy Dude” was going to be there.

I told her that I didn’t like CD, and that he made my skin crawl. Honestly, some of his movements remind me of the creepy old guy (65+) who used to stalk me when I was in HS (16 yrs old.), so just being around him for more than 5 minutes leaves me highly irritable, fidgety, and wanting to run like the wind.

I figured that confession would limit her throwing the two of us together, and that we’d keep away from CD. It did not.

Instead, when I called her from my car because I couldn’t find parking and asked if it was really that important, and amazing.. she replied..

“Oh yes its awesome. CD & I are now members. Its fantastic and there’s a ton of people here. You have to come.”

So I stalked people that were leaving and followed them to their cars to steal their parking spot, and went in.

I find Evie.. and its just Evie and CD. No one else. Sure there were tons of people there but no one that she or even CD were talking to.

Then I decide to go get a beer, and CD decides to go with me. The line to get a beer is phenomenally long and after 20 minutes of waiting in line with CD, I was tossing around the idea of homicide vs suicide… because there was no escape. Once in line, you were kinda trapped in line, and CD refused to stand there in silence. He instead spent the entire 40 minutes or so of our waiting to pepper me with questions about everything, which not only had the effect of irritating the crap out of me, it also made it appear as if we were on a date.

I had to force myself to be nice back. Everyone seems to love CD. I don’t get it. I never have. Since the first I met the guy, my skin has tried to crawl off my body every time he gets within 5 feet of me. I’ve only met one other girl who also has that aversion to him. Everyone else seems to think he’s just a nice guy. So I try to be nice to him.

What I end up managing  is distant apathy with obvious attempts not to be glaringly rude. Yet the guy still does not pick up on the fact that I don’t like him. (I swear that actually scares me more.)

Anyway, so I get a beer, and by that time I’m needing one.. or many. Honestly an entire bottle of vodka would have hit the spot.

So I take a couple gulps of the beer. This is new beer to me, and since I didn’t have time to prepare ahead of time and research the brand or ingredients.. I was taking some big risks testing it (allergies) but man I wanted a drink.  It was supposed to be a wheat beer, so I figured the chances of my allergens being in it were relatively small. I figured they’d probably use trace amounts of something  in the processing, so it might affect me a little.. but not that big.

I had maybe the 1/3 of the glass, just a few ounces.. and I was feeling funky. So I gave the rest of the beer to CD, as I waited for the reaction to hit it’s peak.. aka see how bad it was.

I honestly don’t know what they used in that beer, but I can guarantee you it wasn’t just wheat. About 20 minutes later, I’m walking to my car and I’m having trouble walking. My legs aren’t working right, and I’m staggering like a drunkard. It’s taking all my concentration to remain upright. My head is spinning, and I’ve got a headache.

I get to my car and down a couple benadryl and wait. It doesn’t take long and I’m able to function again, but I’m still not in a very good mood and I’ve still got that headache.

Evie had talked me into going to karaoke at a place nearby. She said if it was boring we’d go somewhere else. She also promised to pay for me and provide me with booze. I assumed it was a bar by her description, so that’s where I was headed.

It was not a bar. It was a BYOB place. Which is fine if Texas didn’t have f’d up laws about alcohol sales, and if it wasn’t after the liquor stores had closed. So I was stuck with whatever her friends had brought.

Her friends were maybe 23 at the oldest. Evie’s nearly 30. CD is probably 45-50. So the 3 of us did not really fit in well. It was awkward, and the alcohol was all… well… college drinks. So.. it was either stuff I was allergic to (no thanks, I was already f’d up), or stuff that would give me a huge hangover. Joy!

The place was also full of snacks.. all of which I was allergic to. It was a tiny unventilated room, about the size of my bedroom, with 10 people eating and breathing on me.  I took more benadryl. I even took a prednisone.

When I got up and actually attempted to sing a song (that should have been my first clue that I was not “OK”) and nearly passed out because I couldn’t catch my breath.. I left.

The minute I walked out of the room, I could breathe again.

I will be marking that nights activities as things I will not be doing again, and I really need to permanently mark Evie down as someone I just do not have fun with. Mostly because she’s selfish and will lie or say anything to get others to do what she wants.

I spent Sunday and Monday feeling quite a lot like roadkill. The night was soooo not worth it.

Plus.. if I ever see CD again.. it will be way too soon.