I’d messaged Mr. TakeMe on Sunday (as I wrote in my posts) asking if he wanted to be more than just sex buddies. Which is the last “defined” role we had.
He replied that he liked where we were and to keep it just sex. His life was too complicated to bring someone into it.
To say that I didn’t take that very well.. kinda an understatement.
Monday night, I messaged him asking if he wanted to get together for sex.
He replied, “maybe” and then didn’t text me again.
I knew something was off. I knew there was someone else.
So when I didn’t hear from him on Tuesday at all.. I went out drinking. There were things I wanted to say to him. Things about Saturday. Things about us. Things.
And since he wasn’t talking to me. My options were… bring it up like a crazy person out of the blue… OR… get drunk and verbally vomit it out in text to him.
I chose vodka. I wrote him about 15 texts. In a row. It was a relatively coherent barrage of “I love you” without actually saying that.
He responded positively… and then told me that he didn’t feel emotionally connected to me and that he was starting a relationship with someone else.
I felt gutted. But what can you do? So I cried. And slept. and… went out drinking on Wednesday.