So when a guy I went out with a couple times.. which never went anywhere but friendship.. messaged me on Valentine’s Day asking if I wanted to “make out tonight”…
I said yes.
I said yes and it was everything.
Let me give him a name… John.
John is highly intelligent. He is also an avid feminist. He is handsome, kind, respectful, sweet, a good listener, trustworthy and a massive catch. He’s also massively into consent. Did I mention trustworthy? I did? Good.
I’ve always thought I had a “type”.. that a particular look counted and that I needed a certain “whatever” in a partner.
I do not I found out. There are things far far more important. Things I didn’t know I needed or wanted or could have… until John and I got together that night.
We had a date with full-on fancy dinner and then went back to his place to “make-out”. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but once we started kissing… I was pretty much ready to go but I still had some self-control.
Then he began kissing my nipples and not entirely being gentle about it.
I stopped him, took some deep breaths.
He asked me what was wrong? He was very concerned that I was having health issues (He knows all about my health stuff) or that he was endangering me in some way. The look on his face was worry and concern, and I wanted to die laughing because..
“Sorry, but unless you want to have sex right now right here, I need a minute.”
He smiled and relaxed and waited.
It wasn’t long until we started again, and then moved into his bedroom.
We had some logistical issues so sex didn’t happen, but I did cum several times. The first time, I was immobile. It’d been so long that I was completely overwhelmed and flooded with endorphins. I’m not even sure I could talk.
I wanted him to cum as well, but I’m very wary of “nice guys” once in the bedroom because way too often has that nice guy mask come off and he turn into an asshole.
So while I wanted him to cum and by my hand.. I was also scared.. and didn’t have lube and it was our first time and…
We talked. He got himself off.. It was hot. And he told me that I shouldn’t worry about him, that he’d tell me if he was unhappy.
We talked and laughed a lot that night. We even talked about our kinks and fantasies. He even spanked me a little.
I felt relaxed and safe and cared for. I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone like that. Not that open and unjudged and relaxed.
I never wanted to leave, but I did. And as I walked out.. I felt like the light had faded and that there was a hole that I hadn’t realized was there but had been there all along. A hole in my life that John made disappear for a few hours.