I’m seriously not sure what to think about it.
The date itself wasn’t anything special. Just coffee and talk, but any doubts I had about his aversion to technology and our compatibility have gone out the window.
I was waiting for him to arrive, and I was nervous. I’d already cancelled the date 6 times in my head before tonight. I’d already half written him off as non-datable.
And then I saw him. His voice rang out a happy..
“Hello! So good to see you.”
And I was home. The rest of the world went away.
Honestly, that he refuses to use technology didn’t matter. I didn’t care. He was there and thats all that mattered.
We talked for a while, and then… well he told me.
I won’t go into detail, but I don’t think he can have kids. And I want kids. He adamantly doesn’t. (He also lives with his mother.. the complicated part he didn’t want to tell me.. she’s ill so he’s not always able to go where he wants when he wants.)
I’m a little thrown by it all. Normally, I’d just brush him off and move on.. but damn he’s like crack.
Maybe I’m just too lonely.. too desperate.. too needy.. I found myself questioning myself all night.. why was I still on this date?
You want to know why I’m not writing him off?
He opens doors for me, without asking and with ease. He listens. He tells me things normal men would hide (like he’s seeing other women too). He’s respectful and actually seems concerned about me and remembers stuff I’ve told him as if he really plans on future for us and is preparing ways to make me happy.
I’ve told him a crapload of my issues, and he’s not ran yet. If anything, he’s taken mental notes of how to work around them.
This also scares the crap out of me… he’s got to be a mental case!
Oh God… I’m so confused.
The only thing I know is that when we’re together there is no other place I’d rather be.