Oct 232011

So last night was supposed to be a disaster. It had all the setup for it.


A. I went out the night before and drank.

B. I didn’t sleep at all that night before so…

C. I took a nap which took much longer than I thought and I woke up an hour late to a friend’s birthday party.


I hadn’t seen this friend in ages, and so I wanted to see her. She’s pretty awesome but our paths don’t cross like they used to. -insert sad face-


The party was a costume party and I barely had any idea what I was going to wear and had very little time to get ready.


I considered not going.  Then realized that I’d regret it if I didn’t go.


I didn’t have time to shower and so I didn’t get to shave my legs. This limited my costume options.


I hurriedly threw my hair into a barrette, and messed it up slightly to look like I was attempting bedhead style and not actually sporting real bedhead (which I was).


My last contact with my friend said to come “sexy” so I scoured my closet for sexy.


Red and black corset. Oh.. that fits with my red cape.. and I have a devils pitchfork here somewhere. That will work.


Unfortunately, my black pants are in the wash so I found an old pair that were too tight and threw them on hoping my cape would hide most of cellulite showing.


Really, without the cape, I looked like a huge sausage in red satin and black lace and it’s my first time ever wearing that corset in public and my boobage felt really displayed.


Screw it.. I was late I couldn’t be picky… so I left.


I get there and say hi. She’s squealing because I look so cute. (Btw I’m the only slutty anything there, evidently no one else read her email.)


I didn’t know anyone there. We have quite a few mutual friends but seriously none of them were there.  I picked up a beer, and figured I’d drink it and leave.


I start to walk around and I’m betting I looked lost. I pass by a guy and girl talking, and I slightly make eye contact.  The kind that if they were really into each other they could ignore me, but if they were bored/friendly they could say hi.


They said hi. I felt a little like a third wheel, but that was short lived.  After introductions, the guy made it quite clear that he didn’t know the other woman and was just chatting.  I still assumed that he was into her, but since I was bored I figured I’d wait for them to oust me from the conversation.


Next thing I know she’s being pulled somewhere else, and another girl comes to join our conversation.  Then she leaves,  someone else joins. And so on, but he stays.


He jokes around about how he’s old.  He’s 36 (so not old) and seems to assume that the rest of us are all younger.


We talk about old movies.. old trends.. and jointly poke fun at the others who don’t know what we’re referencing. He goes to refresh his drink, and returns.  Later, I go to refresh my drink, and he waits for me to return.


I assume he’s bored and just enjoying having someone to talk to.


Then suddenly it’s just him and I talking. We joke around and laugh. We share drinking war stories.


He makes a comment about how old he is again and how he doesn’t look his age. I make a comment about how he’s not that old.


“You’re.. what?… maybe 28?” He studies my face.


I laugh and quickly reply. “YES! I’m 28. You’re right.”


He’s not stupid and quickly realizes that I’m older than 28 and lying.


“You’re 30?”


I laugh harder.


“Dude, I’m older than you.” I say smiling. “Like you, I don’t look my age.” (I hate to say this, but he looks 36.)


“What? No you’re not.” He’s honestly shocked.


“well, barely older but yes.”


He doesn’t hear me and asks, “40?”


I gasp and look at him as if he’d just told me I was ugly.  It’s less than 2 years away, but sheesh.. 40? 🙂


He realizes he guessed too high and corrects, “38?… 37?…”


“You’re right, 38. How’d you guess?”


He laughs. We have a moment of honest silence.. where I’m sure he’s still processing that I’m older than him.


“Awesome, I came here with one goal.. To get a woman to tell me her real age, and I did it! You know, cuz it’s impolite to just ask.”


I laughed.


The more we talked, the more I found myself liking him despite all the red flags.. and that he’s not at all what I normally go for.


He doesn’t drink anymore (not in AA so at least not a major issue). He’s not in tech. He’s not a computer geek or even remotely close – he’s not even on Facebook. He does real blue collar work with his hands. He’s blonde (I think. he was wearing a cap) or light haired. He’s skinny like a toothpick. He has cats.


But he’s cute, and I felt good around him.


You know that safe-comfortable feeling you get around people you trust? The ones where it’s safe just being yourself?  Yeah, thats how I felt around him. Safe. Accepted. Secure.  And it was nice.


And as such, I think we’d make great friends.. except..


We kept having moments. You know those moments when the laughter starts to fade and the silence starts to creep in.. and you find your lips wanting to find his… or for his to come find yours.. Yeah, those moments.


He looked at his watch, and commented that he should be going. He had an early morning job to do. He didn’t leave.


A half hour later, he looked at this watch and commented again. He didn’t leave.


Another half hour later, he looked at his watch. Said he needed to leave.


“Yes you should probably go. I’d hate for you to fall asleep at work tomorrow.”


“Oh that won’t happen.” He stated quickly, as if trying to convince me he could stay.


He looked at his watch again. I think he was trying to will time to reverse itself or stop for a few.


“Well I should get going. It was great meeting you.” and he opened his arms for a hug. “Can I get a hug?”


“Of course” and we hugged…


I have to tell you that .. that hug.. was the best hug I’ve had in ages. We fit together, my head in the crook of his neck.. just perfect.  I instantly didn’t want to let go. He didn’t seem to want to either.


“Here let me give you my card.” He offered while he dug out his wallet.


“Just a moment.” I walked out of the room to get to my purse and get my card for him.


He waited despite not knowing what I was doing. I essentially took his card and ran off.


“ok, here’s my card as well.” I said when I’d returned, handing him my card. He smiled.


We talked briefly about our respective cards, but mostly he stared at mine as if he was trying to memorize it.


He puts my card in his pocket, and turns to me.


“I’ll call you sometime this week, is that ok?”


Is that ok? Fuck yeah that’s ok. (Btw he better f’n call.)


He opened his arms again, wanting another hug before he went.


This hug was longer.. sweeter.. and harder to behave.  I wanted to kiss his neck, pull him even closer, and run my hands to places I shouldn’t in public.


We pulled ourselves apart. He hesitated, then began walking away and out the door.  It felt like he took the party with him.


I stayed for a few more minutes in an attempt to “find the party” again, but quickly gave up and left.


He’s really… sooooo… not my type, but part of me wonders if that might be a good thing.


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