Feb 132011

I really need this t-shirt

Yesterday was a long day, so long of a day that by the time evening rolled around I was ready to just lay down and sleep.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t as one of my clients was having a party, and so I needed to go for good client relations.

My last few parties with this client were hosted by other people and have been wine parties where people brought their own wine, snacks, etc. It tended toward the high end with finer palates, quiet music, and fancy food.

She however hosted this party, and lives with a couple musicians, and she’s learning to become one herself.  So I knew it would be a little different, but I had no idea exactly what to expect.

The invite said to bring wine or BYOB, and something to pair with it. So I did.

I arrive, and I hear music blaring. Fortunately it was good music. A few friends of the roommates’ were jamming. It was pretty cool, but a little loud.

It’s crowded, and as my eyes adjust to the light I realize what I’ve brought is of a much finer fare than was needed. 90% of the crowd is early twenties and either in college or just out of it.

The little “food” table was filled with the oversized bottles of cheap wines. You know the bottles you used to buy in college? They were essentially two bottles of wine bottled in one big bottle, just  a step above Boones Family Farms.  The food selection was off-brand Doritos, some unknown source of salsa and what I believe might have been hummus.  So when I put down my assorted cheese plate of Gouda, Swiss, Aged Cheddar, and Havarti, people swarmed.  And my good wine, despite it only having cost $10, was gone in a matter of minutes.

I did however make a very good impression, and got a huge “Thank You” from one of the young girls for bringing something resembling actual food.  She was starving.

A few of our mutual friends were there. I believe we were called the “Old People”, and most of them left soon after I’d arrived.  There’s only so much “returning to college” that we old people can handle.

So when Lissa asked me if I wanted to go find a bar to party at, I said yes.

The room was filled with hot young men… talented hot young men… but emphasis on young.  The music was good, but so loud no one could talk without shouting. It honestly was a party that I would have killed to attend 15 years ago.  As it turns out, 15 years is enough time to have grown old, finicky, and a party pooper.

We said goodbye to the host, and went to a bar nearby.

We enter the Karaoke room of the bar hoping to find something entertaining. We do. There are two very cute mid-30’s men and we strike up a conversation. It was fun, but they talk like they’re married. Never actually saying it, but the conversation doesn’t get any deeper than superficial.

We go to the bar to refresh our drinks, and meet “Mr I’m not looking to get laid”.. which was seriously his opening line (it was either that or he said “I’m not looking to get all up in ya, I just want to hang out.” I can’t really remember exactly).  He seemed like a nice guy, and I believed him that he was looking for a real relationship. He had that lonely desperation scent of a man who just wanted someone to love him. Unfortunately for him that was about all he had interesting about him, and instead of refreshing our drinks, we decided to move on to another bar.

The next bar, we belly up to the bar and find ourselves ignored by the bartenders. Worst service ever. However our company was pretty good.

We ended up sitting next to a man who had made friends with half the bar. I end up flirting with him, and he starts pointing out these friends of his (only to find out later he’d just met them that night) to help vouch for him.  I was teasing him and pretending not to believe him about this woman who was obviously too drunk, and whom he claimed was “crazy”.  So crazy that he would not get within 4 feet of her.

So I made his friends come over from across the room to help explain things, and vouch for him. Yes, thats how I roll.. men come from across the room to talk to me.

Actually, I believe they were pulling man-code and trying to help poor Luis get laid. Luis was a decent looking guy, but mostly just entertainment fodder for me. I was more interested in meeting his “friends” and just having fun at the bar.

Then Luis pointed out Billy as someone he was buddies with, and waved to him from across the bar. Billy looked up at us, and I made “come here” signs with my hand… demanding signs… and probably demeaning signs as if I was entitled to just motion and expect obedience.

Billy smiled, and then made gestures telling me to go to him. I shook my head, smiled, and repeated my gesture telling him to come to me.  He insisted that I go to him by making his gesture larger. I in turn made my gesture larger, and more staccato, thus upping this game of “no seriously come here”.  As a good boy, he finally came over to me and Luis.

“You called?” He said smiling, while cocking his head to the side and raising one eyebrow in curiosity.

He stood on one side of me, and Luis on the other. So when I went to answer him, I had to turn my back to Luis.

“Well Luis here, is trying to convince me that that girl is crazy.”

Billy’s eyes follow where I’m meaning, widen, and his gaze returns to me.

“Oh yeah, she’s crazy.” He says with obvious meaning of “I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole”

The girl is normal looking, drunk, and relatively hot.  So she had to be really unhinged. Lissa however was talking to her and making friends.

I introduce Lissa to Billy, and Lissa says hello, and tries to defend the girl, but gets pulled back into talking to the girl.

“You know thats one of the best things about Lissa,” I tell Billy, “She’s one of those really nice people that makes friends with anyone.”

Billy and I banter back and forth forever. Seriously he is the male version of me with a bit more extroversion. Snarky, a very good judge of character, and honest to nearing the point of rudeness… without ever meaning to be actually offensive. I loved it!

Many of my friends now are in very new-agey love-everyone no-one-has-faults kind of religious/spiritual beliefs.  Saying things like “OMG that girl is bat-shit crazy.” to them pretty much gets me the ‘scolding eye’ of ‘tsk tsk you shouldn’t judge people’…

So talking with Billy was pretty damn awesome.

He invited Lissa and I to visit him where he works and he’d buy us a beer. I may just take him up on that.

  2 Responses to “I need a man who is just as bitchy as me..”

  1. New Post: I need a man who is just as bitchy as me.. – The room was filled with hot young men… talented hot young me… http://ow.ly/1bjQQL

  2. New Post: I need a man who is just as bitchy as me.. – The room was filled with hot young men… talented hot young me… http://ow.ly/1bjQQL

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