Feb 102010
Tonight I said “Goodbye” to two friends.  These aren’t silly friends, or casual friends.. but good friends. People I trust, which is a rarity for me.  So its hard to see them leave.
Mich is going overseas, and Behn is moving to another state.
If I’m honest, I’ve wanted to date them both… they’re great guys… but it just never seemed to go that way.
Behn will always just be a friend. He’s awesome, but he’s superficial in what he wants in a woman. I am not within his “hot” range.. and he only likes atheists. But he’s a great friend.
I really hadn’t seen Behn in a couple months. We (Behn, Mich, Theo and I) used to all get together weekly.. then twice a month.. then once a month.. then… So its been a while.
But talking with him tonight, I remembered why I loved him and I’ve missed him. We used to sit and talk about dating.. whoahs and yeses.. We’d give each other advice, and listen to each other’s crazy stories. I can completely relax with him, a rare thing for me.
He’s actually finally in love. It was sweet to see him that way. She wasn’t there, but I’m dying to meet her.  However since he’s moving, I’m not sure it’ll last, but I hope they’ll fight for it.  He doesn’t fall easy and is extremely picky, so it’ll be sad if he truly loses her.
Mich and I have been friends longer though.. actually I’ve known Mich longer than any of them.  Mich also helped me move last year, and met my parents.. and.. got along with them.  My parents think he walks on water (an amazing feat btw).
I’ve flirted with Mich in the past, but it never seemed to go anywhere as he had a girlfriend in England for quite a while.. then when they split, he started dating some crazy chick in town for a short-term casual thing – his words since he knew he was leaving. (She looks sane, but trust me she’s crazy.)
So we’d only just been friends, and thats all I’ve ever expected.
After the farewell dinner, Mich and I went to a movie together. It wasn’t planned ahead, but he’d mentioned wanting to see the movie and I didn’t have other plans and haven’t seen a flick in the theater for ages.. so I offered to join him.
We had a little time to kill so we stopped at a bar and got a beer before heading to the Alamo. We chatted and laughed and had a good time.
Then the movie.
The entire movie he kept lightly tapping my knee or grabbing my arm to pull me closer to talk about the movie.  This alone is normal, right?  
But his fingers on my knee were like bolts of electricity.  
He was arguing with me that the movie did not have plot. I said it did and that he should be quiet and just go with the flow of it. He said he needed to do some kind of drugs to understand it.  I understood it fine (but then I’ve not ever really needed drugs).
But the entire time we argued.. all I wanted to do was kiss him to shut him up.
If we weren’t just friends.. and if he wasn’t taking off overseas in a few days.. I’d have jumped his bones right there. (I probably just need to get laid.)
Instead, when he tapped my knee, I pretended to be irritated and playfully tapped his knee. When he grabbed my arm, I playfully poked at his hand.
We sat there talking the entire length of the credits; we were the last to leave the theatre.
He walked me to my car.. (He’s that kind of gentleman, always) and we hugged goodbye.
It was a long hug. I even relaxed like I was letting go, and he embraced me harder. I hugged him some more.
There seems to be something there.  I don’t know what.. but something.
He seemed hesitant to call it a night, but I was freezing so we did.

*sigh* I’m going to miss them both.. dearly.

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