The conversation was fine.. good for the most part.. but he kept setting off “red flags” … well not red flags really. It wasn’t like suddenly red flags were appearing out of nowhere and I was wading through sea of them.
It was more like the reality of who he is and what kind of person he was, finally hit me.
We talked a bit about music. Or should I say he talked. More often than not he talked in a way that was.. well… condescending or as if I couldn’t possibly have any idea what he was talking about. Often he talked over me or wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise.
This did not go over well.
It didn’t help any that the minute I mentioned I was attempting to write a book,… ok not “The Minute” but after the initial “That’s great”… he asked..
“Are you ready in the event that your book is a success?”
Seriously?? Like wtf kind of question is that? He then went on a tirade about how he’d done a tone of research on writing books and authors and what not, and how I needed to have all this legal stuff done, and agreements, and to watch out for shady book deals.. and suddenly..
Sails – wind = writers block. (as much as what he said may be true, it’s hardly his business at this point to shove his nose in let alone go on a tirade where I can’t get a word in.)
And.. as much as I like the idea that he’s not greedy, he’s a helper personality, and he’s ethical.. I don’t get the idea that he really gets that owning his own business, insurance, taxes and whatnot.. that what he’s currently charging isn’t really going to make ends meet unless he does work 10 hours a day 7 days a week, which he can’t do because he also needs to be out there doing sales and setting up appointments. He’s a one man business, and at his current prices he can’t even afford to hire anyone to help him with it.
This also set into motion a discussion of tech. I’ve mentioned before that he’s not tech savvy. He’s really really not tech savvy and absolutely has NO interest in technology. So much so that he’s pretty adverse to it.
He says he doesn’t judge people who use it or whatever, but I can’t imagine that he grasps the basic concepts of me (technophile). He doesn’t get email. I don’t even know if he has an email address as he has no way to check it. He has a website for his business that he hired someone to make, but I don’t think he’s actually seen it. He has no concept of social media, and is so adverse to being on it himself that he won’t even let me make a company page for him (for free) and maintain it (he wouldn’t even entertain the notion).
I even had to explain Hulu to him. Thank God that he knew what a DVR was, or I think I’d have just hung up right there. (I really try not to be a tech snob, but I really am I think.)
Other than singing and writing.. and even that I’m not sure about the singing thing.. we don’t have a damn thing in common.
Our family backgrounds… while both Christian-esque… thats as close to “in common” we get there. I’m from a “Leave it to Beaver” family compared to his.
I’ve had to explain several words to him, and yes English is his first language.
Then there’s the big secret thing that he won’t tell me about yet. He promises he will someday.
The conversation just didn’t really go well, and I’m starting to think that “friends” is all we’ll be.
He’s a nice guy and seems to be a very hard worker, and I think he’d probably make a good dad someday.
I’m just slowly coming to the realization that there’s a reason I don’t go for guys like him… I just haven’t quite put my finger on it yet.