It’s been 1 year and roughly 9 months since I’ve been a “we”, and yet I keep finding myself saying “Oh yes we used to..” when referring to things that would happen when I was married. Its like that time period is sentenced to the “we” vocabulary.
In all honesty, it seems kinda weird and a little bit insulting to my ex, for me to refer to things like “our house” as “my house” during that time period. Same goes for pest problems.. in conversations where people are talking about their pest problems and wanting to know a local company that does good work.. I often just automatically say “Well we used to have problems with them until we used…” Because it was a “we” problem and not just a me problem. It never was my house, it was always our house.
Funny thing though is this isn’t just a problem with my ex.. I’ve had this problem with other people I’ve lived with.. including former ex’s, roomates, and even my best friend.
I’d be out on a date and the guy would ask me about something referring to my past or past apartments or something.. and I’d automatically say “Oh yeah, we…”
In which he’d instantenously get that flash across his face of “Wait.. is she single? Who is this we?”
Which would then start a discussion of who is that “we”.. and depending on the memory triggered.. one “we” could be a completely different pair than any other “we” I said.
I suppose I could clarify things by saying “My old roomate and I” or “My ex and I” or “My ex Jason and I” or “My ex Bill and I”.. but that might actually be worse as depending on the number of old memories triggered, I might end the night with a list of ex’s and old roomates as long as my arm. I can’t imagine that would be good.
I really should work on this “we” thing I suppose… but it just seems wrong… like I’m cutting out parts of pictures in my mind.. editing memories.. faking history.
Or I suppose I could just try to keep my damn mouth shut and not tell any stories that start with “We”… but .. knowing me, thats pretty much damn impossible.