Then as he was preparing to enter me, he awkwardly asked me.
“So do you have unprotected sex with everyone?” He meant it just as asshole-ish as that sounds.
“Hon, I have only been with you since we were last together”
He scoffed. I reiterated.
He talked about how before me he only had unprotected sex with his ex, Shay. This is just one of the reasons why I know he loves me. He’s very condom happy with everyone, and he was with me when we started months ago. Then he stopped wanting to be careful. He wanted to be inside me to feel me, and I only wanted him. So that’s how it played out.
He didn’t want to believe me though that I’d been chaste. See he likes to think that I’m a sex fiend just like him. That I’ll do anyone anywhere. It makes it easier for him not to love me.
He purposefully spent the next few minutes.. while fucking me.. telling me how much he wants someone else to fuck me, and how he wants to watch.. how he wants them both to do me together. How he wants to fuck me while someone else’s semen is dripping out of me.
He says these things. Because it’s easier then not to love me.
So I replied, “But what if I prefer him? What if he’s the better lover?” It landed and I saw it hurt.
Then the anger surfaced, and he replied, “Do you really think that’s possible?” as he fucked me harder.
I teased, “Anything is possible. It’s the risk you take.”
He spent the next few minutes fucking me like a madman aiming to ruin me for all other men. (Which I did not mind at all, multiple orgasms? yes please) Asking again and again, “Do you really think anyone will fuck you as well as I do?”
I only replied that it was possible that someone could be better. He eventually stopped asking, and started having intimate sex with me. I’d say “making love” but we’ve done that once.. and this was about half-way between our normal fucking and “making love”.
He wants to love me, but can’t allow himself. He needs me to love him, to adore him, as long as I don’t actually say it or get too forward about it. And of course, I can’t expect a relationship or to be treated as more than a bootycall. *rolls eyes*
So, this week I hope to experience Mr Fluffy, and maybe he’ll be good for me.