Jul 232017
 

Photo by Waranya Mooldee on UnsplashI have been working hard to get over Mr TakeMe. And I’ve been doing well. I just haven’t been having any luck with finding sexual partners that I actually want to be sexual with.

I’ve made new friends and even a couple girl friends. I have more people to hang out with and ask to go places.

I’ve resisted him at the bar and avoided him where possible.

I’ve even been active on dating sites trying to find a date.

And I found one.

He’s just getting back into dating after the death of his wife. (no he didn’t kill her, I did ask though cuz you know my luck with these things.)  He’s got a good job. House. Car. He’s a normal functional person who doesn’t really drink much.

Basically everything I’ve been looking for and not at all finding.

We went on a coffee date and then a real date date. I’ve not had one in so long I wasn’t even sure they still existed.

He’s tall and manly.. but he’s fluffy. Not as much fat as he is fluffy saggy soft. It’s a new body type for me, so we’ll see how it goes.

He did kiss me. He doesn’t put any strength in his lips, so kisses are wetter than they should be, but not too slobbery so it’s ok.

From what he’s told me.. I’m his first “anything” since his wife died. So 100% sure I’m just a “rebound” even if he doesn’t know it. But we’ll see.

We have great conversations, and this actually could possibly go somewhere if we’d met at a different time in his life.

I think I took him to his first bar with karaoke that he’s been to since he was in college. *sigh*

Anyway, the night ended because he’s not used to staying up so late, and I went to walk him to his car. We discussed what should happen next on the way out, and realized his car was right at the entrance. So he walked me to my car which was further away from public eyes, and kissed me.

We made out for a bit. He’s too gentle. too sweet. too soft. He’s being “nice” so I throw in a bit of my evilness. I nibble his lip. It catches him off guard but in a good way. I pull him in closer and take the kiss deeper, more urgent, more lustful.

I was testing him and he knew it.  We talked about taking it further. We both wanted to. But his place was out due to some kind of hair-brained construction on his house thing he was doing. And my place was out because my place kinda looks like a tornado hit it, and he’s a decent guy so he’s not seeing my place until it looks like an adult lives here.

So we agreed on another night. He was also very concerned that I was too drunk to give consent. We’d had a talk about drinking and how drunk was too drunk and tolerance levels and consent.. earlier that evening. Mostly in discussing my health but also my alcohol tolerance level. So it was on his mind. He just forgot the part where I said it would take 15 drinks before I was that altered.  I had maybe 4-5. I wasn’t even slurring or stumbling (or at least not stumbling more than I do when I’m sober).

But I wasn’t making his walking away from me easy. Because I’m evil. Actually I decided to be nice, and toned it down to gentle, and I joked that I should be nice and let him leave, and he said I didn’t need to. I said I didn’t want to be nice.

And then I wasn’t. Because I wanted him to know the difference. Pretty sure he almost came from the kiss alone. It’s been  long time for him, and before that he was with the same woman for many years. So I ravaged his mouth. Softly bit his tongue. Nibbled his lip. Teased him by pulling away and keeping my lips just out of reach, before diving in and kissing him soundly, passionately.

He awkwardly (he had a boner) extracted himself and got into his car and left.

I went to my regular bar and caught up with some friends. I was hot and bothered and man I wanted sex. And my latest favorite hot guy was there. He’s ruggedly hot. Like a laborer hot. He’s also smart, and he likes to get into philosophical discussions. So we talk, while I dream about fucking his brains out.

I think he likes me too. I’m just not sure in what way. But our hugs are lasting longer, and the urge to nibble his neck is getting harder to resist. But I do. Because I like him as a friend even if he doesn’t want more.. so it’s tricky.

The bar closes. He goes home alone. I offer to have him join me for food, but he vehemently declines. I’m not sure why, but I let it go.

I go for food, and on my way home, I drive a few blocks out of my way to drive by Mr TakeMe’s place.  His car is in the drive.

When my phone goes off. I look. It’s Mr TakeMe. I’m literally right outside his house. I pull over and park.

I reply; “LMAO. I was just driving by your place.”

He replies: “Stop by for some cock”

And I do. It was nice being with him again. I love the smell of him. The touch of him. The way we kiss. And mostly.. the way his cock fits.

While we’re having sex, I feel something weird on the back of my knee. It’s a used condom. Mr TakeMe and I don’t use them. He uses them with everyone else. And I laugh to myself and then realize, I’m starting something with Mr. Fluffy. Mr. TakeMe and I, this is the last time we’ll be condom-free.

We snuggle a bit afterward, and I thank him for messaging me.

“I really needed this tonight” (seriously if I hadn’t gotten fucked good, I’d be messaging Mr. Fluffy today in urgent harassment for his cock. At least this way I can pretend with Mr Fluffy that I’m not a complete sexual deviant. I am. But he is not ready for that.)

Mr TakeMe replies: “I need this every night.”

Me: “You could have had this every night, but…”

He doesn’t say anything, but I know it landed. I will probably always love him, and I know he loves me even if he won’t admit it. But he’s not good for me.. other than occasional sex.

 

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