Mar 292017
 

Yesterday, I had fun and yet didn’t.

I met with a guy who wants to be submissive to me. He seems nice enough and on paper we seem to be a nice fit, but he’s Indian with a thick accent and I only understand about half of what he says.

But we talked about things and I like the thought of having a submissive that I can pretty much just order around.  I just don’t know if I’m ready for that, and the communication issue is a big one.

So while thinking about it… Hair Petter messages me.

He asks about my hobbies.

I reply. “Sex”

He says to meet him at his place as he’ll be less tired than last time.

I do.

It wasn’t good. He’s better when he’s tired.

And it’s the first time since I started having sex again that I actually regret it.  I think the “having fun” portion is over, and that I need something more.

But I also think this is George’s fault. I started to feel this way as soon as we actually kissed.

I get excited when he messages or comments on my posts. I want to see him again more than anyone and I can’t wait until his cold is over.

I don’t understand why him though. We have nothing in common. We hate each other’s music choices. He is an avid video gamer and I pretty much hate it. He’s old man crochety and hateful to people, and I try to embrace hope/love.

While he’s not ugly, he’s not handsome. He’s about 4 inches shorter than me if not more. He’s losing his hair. I’m not entirely sure he knows how to clean or do laundry as his place makes mine look & smell pristine.

But he kisses me and my toes curl.

I don’t understand it at all.

I’m supposed to meet up with Garath on Saturday. I’m going to keep the appointment and see if things have changed there, but I have a feeling that they have.

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