Earlier today, Mich called me, finally. He invited me to meet him prior to a movie tonight. I was also invited to the movie, and he wanted me to go with him to it, but I had to decline. So we just met for coffee/beer.
I had little time to get ready, but I managed.
Anyway, so I arrive at the coffee shop, and he’s already there. He sees me walking up and opens the door for me.
Something was different though. He looked different. He acted a little different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He seemed happy enough to see me.
He waits until I’m inside, and then enfolds me in a hug. I feel nothing. Sure sure I was happy to be hugged and it was good to see him, but I’m no longer feeling “attracted” to him. He’s like a stranger I used to know. It was odd.
We sit down to talk. He talks a bit about his travels, then waxes sarcastic (in a derogatory way) about people who use social media.. especially twitter. He suddenly became very ugly. Maybe he was always this way? I don’t know. I don’t remember seeing this ugly side of him before.
We talked a bit about me, and what I’m doing. I mentioned that I’ve been doing some social media work. It’s completely lost on him. He doesn’t “get it” at all. He just wasn’t interested in getting it either, and made a few “trying to be funny” jokes about it, but failed.
I try to figure out what it is that I used to like about him. He used to be fun. We used to have a silent connection. It was gone.
I studied his face. He’d changed. His face had grown much older in the last 11 months, but something else was amiss… then it dawned on me, and I almost laughed out loud when I thought it… He looks Chinese. (Genetically he’s a germanic/european dude, but I swear to you, he looks half-asian now.)
This is extremely funny to me because that’s exactly where he’s been for the last 2 years.
He’s saying something about something or other, and I decide to tune back in.
“When I go back, I’m getting married.”
WHOA the fucking donkeys! Didn’t he just say back in February that he wasn’t dating anyone and didn’t want to any day soon?
I started to ask him about her, but he seemed to not want to discuss it with me. He merely said she was Chinese and didn’t encourage conversation. He didn’t even have a picture of her with him.
It was odd, and shocking. Mostly shocking because prior to our discovery of “feelings for each other” we’d talked profusely about people we dated. Now he’s silent as a freaking clam. But he seemed happy about the wedding, so I let it drop.
We talked a bit more. This time about writing. The one thing that had brought us together in the first place. I started to talk about one of the various books I’ve been working on, and he listened just long enough to force his opinion on me.
“When I have that issue, I do…” blah blah blahbity blah
I continued onto a different problem I was having.. “Should I write it in first person? or Third person? There some facts in the book that I don’t know how to get into the story in first person. So I’m trying to figure out if I should just start over in Third person?”
I barely got it out before he was again laying down cliches of advice which were as helpful as telling me to go get laid.
What in the hell did I see in this guy??
I think this is the side of people you don’t see right away. When you’re both wearing the love-blinders, and you’re trying to impress each other so you don’t let the “crap” out in public. But since he was now off the market again, and getting married, he no longer felt the need to impress me. So I got the crap Mich. It kinda felt like we were a married couple.. about year 5 only without the resentment of each other.. where we just start to see each other as we really are.
I can sincerely say I wish him and his new bride a long and happy life, and have absolutely no regrets about it. I mean I still remember the guy that he is/was.. but now realize that we’ve grown apart. We’re different people now.
He wants to get together again before he goes back to China. I really don’t see the point. He laid out his plans for the coming years. Married in a few weeks. Moving to the US in 8 months or so, if he gets into school (where? I don’t know but it won’t be Austin). If not, he and his bride will be taking up residence in one of about 10 countries, none of which the US.
In essence, I will likely never see him again.
I am actually ok with that.