Last week, I decided to un-retire my account on Collarme. I may or may not have mentioned this here. Mostly I did it out of curiosity. You know.. broaden my choices.. but mostly just to see who was still out there.
Then I saw the profile of this guy who for the most part seemed to be what I was looking for.. kinda.. except he has a girlfriend. He’s in an open relationship to so to speak, and is looking for someone on the side. (He claims to be a dominant in search of a submissive.)
He’s open and honest, and if I wanted to meet her I could. However, I told him from the first contact that friends would be all it would ever be. Not that I really have a problem with what consenting adults agree to do sexually, but when it comes to extreme sexual activity where there’s a lot of trust needed, I can get a little psycho if I have to share. I know me, and eventually I would do everything in my power to get him all to myself.. so.. just friends.
We’d been chatting for the last week. Mostly about if I’d found anyone interesting yet, and how life was going. He wanted to meet several times, but I had other plans. So today, when I needed to go to his area of town for an errand, I sent him a note to meet me at a coffee shop. Our first meeting.
Had it been a “date” or had I any interest in him sexually, our meeting would have been very short. He first began talking about his new job, which was immensely boring, and then he began talking about his exes, his gf, and his gf’s lover/Dom.
The more he talked about things, the more I realized he wasn’t really dominant. A switch possibly. A top probably….
<Definition break:> Lets do sports metaphors! Dominant would be the coach or possibly the quarterback of the team. He (she) leads. A switch would be a player who sometimes coached. A Top would be kinda like a linebacker, dealing out the torment to the other team, but not necessarily in any position of authority. </Definition Break>
Larry also is a drama-magnet. Serious drama-magnet.
He’s been married twice and he’s in his late 30’s. Both marriages, he was walked all over. His current girlfriend was already involved with her Dom/lover when they met. Larry started with her as a friends/benefits kind of situation… and then progressed into her (& her son) moving in with him as she needed a place to live.
Shortly after all this, her dom/lover’s wife hit on Larry and he started up a sexual relationship with the wife. (Can you say foursome?) She was mentally unstable and wanted him all to herself.. basically ditch her husband and his gf and them run off together. He broke it off with her and stayed with his gf.
Long story start, the husband, the gf’s dom/lover, was kicked out of the house and since he had no where else to live.. moved in with Larry and the gf (& her son). The Dom/lover and the gf do not have jobs, and it was my impression that Larry is supporting them.
He sounds like a complete pussy/pushover now doesn’t he??
He’s a nice guy, and sadly I think I’m probably more assertive/dominant than he is, but hard to say since we were in “friend” mode… but I still feel that urge to “save” him, which I did my best to ignore. He’s a grown man and if he wants to live the way he does that’s his choice. I’d rather set my hair on fire than live that way, but hey it’s his life.
Our conversation – once we got past the whole crazy exes discussion – was pretty good. He won those discussions by a landslide, and he wasn’t being negative about his exes. He just said stuff as a matter of fact as if psycho was completely normal.
We ended up going for a walk and doing some window shopping together. Since there was no freaking way I’d date him, especially given his current situation, I relaxed and he relaxed and we just had a good time.
I got to show off my girly side.. which I may post about later.. and he seemed to revel in it as if watching some kind of wildlife documentary. Evidently his gf isn’t very girly.
It was very ego-boosting as well. The entire time he kept staring at my chest. I’d be talking and suddenly his eyes would be down there fixed. I forgot what it was like to be such as blatant sexual object. I thought about saying “Hey my eyes are up here”, but I kinda liked the attention. He also made sure to watch me walk away from him as much as possible. That made me giggle.
I pretty much felt by the end of our meeting that if I wanted, he could easily be putty in my hands.
This made my evil side very happy. I may or may not have laughed maniacally on the way home.