Dec 062011
 

I have two dates on Friday and yet I find myself discouraged about dating.

 

Partly because I don’t think either date has long term potential. One I just started talking to yesterday, and it’s already feeling like we’ll make great friends.. I don’t think we’ll be anything more, but I could be surprised.  The second is a “SugarDaddy” who has been contacting me on and off for a couple years now, and which I finally just said, “Hey, you’re taking me out to dinner.” (He jumped at it. Evidently he likes commanding women, which I can do but not long term.)

 

I have scoured OkStupid as much as I can, and I may be looking for the impossible. You see there are things on which I kinda have hard limits..

 

  1. No Racists.
  2. No Gay-Haters. (I’m not gay and no one really in my life right now is gay, but I can’t be with someone who is a hater.)
  3. No Druggies or Potheads.

 

Sadly, this eliminates 90% of OkCupid it seems.  I thought looking for a god-believing technophile was hard. Turns out, looking for a Christian who doesn’t think that all “Gay people are the scum of the earth” is even more impossible.

 

Then when adding in height and intelligence requirements (btw I am quite clearly on OkStupid seeing a direct correlation between morons and belief in Protestant Christianity. No idea why, but it scares me.) the pickings become even slimmer.

 

It’s seriously enough to make me want to completely give up dating. It’s also making it clear that I need to widen my search and attempt long-distance.

 

So if anyone knows a guy who fits the following, send him my way.. My vagina will be very thankful.

 

  • Height: 5’10 or taller
  • Weight: Don’t care as long as he’s physically agile, and able to do missionary without killing me.
  • Religion: Higher power or God believing. Preferably not actively Catholic.
  • Great sense of humor
  • Reliable & Gentlemanly (believes in chivalry)
  • Would like to have at least one kid (or willing to try. Don’t care if he already has one or two.)
  • Likes technology.
  • Is pro-science/research and education
  • The smarter he is the better.
  • Dog-lover
  • Monogamous

 

At this point, I honestly don’t care if he’s into anything else I hate like WWF, NASCAR, or the Saints. There’s bigger fish to fry.

 

It’ll be helpful as well if he’s a carnivore and not afraid of red meat, can and does eat gluten, and likes to eat organic or healthy (ie no fast food or gross junk food). Oh he should also drink alcohol socially, and if he likes larger women who write blogs and are occasionally funny that would be very helpful for him.

 

I know.. I’m looking for the impossible. *sigh*

 

  8 Responses to “Dating: Mission Impossible”

  1. I can empathize with you. Dating is a serious pain in the ass these days. Not sure if it has always been that way or not. It DOES seem that there are more quality women out there then men but that’s of course a generalization. One of the few things I did like about dating was hearing womens horror stories, and they always had them. Well we can’t help but keep trying and maybe a fool finds wisdom in his (or her) folly. I lucked out but I remember those days of seeming endless futility well. Hoping for the best for you.

    • Dang it… my reply to you evidently was eaten by the WordPress monsters! It was all clever and witty.

      Mainly it boiled down to: Yeppers you got super lucky with finding your fabulous woman!

  2. I can empathize with you. Dating is a serious pain in the ass these days. Not sure if it has always been that way or not. It DOES seem that there are more quality women out there then men but that’s of course a generalization. One of the few things I did like about dating was hearing womens horror stories, and they always had them. Well we can’t help but keep trying and maybe a fool finds wisdom in his (or her) folly. I lucked out but I remember those days of seeming endless futility well. Hoping for the best for you.

    • Dang it… my reply to you evidently was eaten by the WordPress monsters! It was all clever and witty.

      Mainly it boiled down to: Yeppers you got super lucky with finding your fabulous woman!

  3. WOW…look who I followed here without ANY idea that he was even following you on twitter, let alone reading your blog! Ha. I love it!

    My eyes twinkled at “widen my search and attempt long-distance…”

    Ummmmm YES! Do you think I would have ever found my Ricos all the way up in Chicago if I hadn’t widened my search beyond the filthy Jersey Shore?

    • LOL I had no idea he was following or reading either. Totally shocked when he commented.

      I’ve done long-distance before, and I really hate it. But sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. 🙁

  4. WOW…look who I followed here without ANY idea that he was even following you on twitter, let alone reading your blog! Ha. I love it!

    My eyes twinkled at “widen my search and attempt long-distance…”

    Ummmmm YES! Do you think I would have ever found my Ricos all the way up in Chicago if I hadn’t widened my search beyond the filthy Jersey Shore?

    • LOL I had no idea he was following or reading either. Totally shocked when he commented.

      I’ve done long-distance before, and I really hate it. But sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. 🙁

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