Jul 302011

Last night was pretty much the epitome of torture.


I got a surprise text from a friend of mine, “Hey are you going to RSVP for tonight?”


RSVP for what? I jogged my brain. Nothing there (not unusual).


“Umm did I miss an invite?”


“Dinner tonight. Bellagios. 7pm. RSVP.”


So I go to my computer and check emails, I search Facebook events, I look through our mutual groups.. nada.


“I don’t see a thing to RSVP, but I can make it.”


She then texts that we’re supposed to dress up.. blah blah blah. Ok fine.


It wasn’t what I’d planned on doing that evening but it’d been a while since I’d been out with this group of girls that I figured I should.


So I go, and it’s my first time at Bellagios. It’s a little romantic fancy Italian-esque restaurant. It might be good for a date but for a group it wasn’t great. It was loud and extremely hard to hear anyone except those sitting right next to you.. and I ended up at the end of the table with the boring people. (Well one fun girl showed up later and sat next to me, but the downer-Debbie and snobby-bitch next to us eventually rubbed off on us.


Downer Debbie actually wasn’t all that bad. She was probably 5-10 yrs older than me (possibly my age) but looked like your typical out in the country mother of 6 six kids housewife. Hair so short it was wash and go, and no makeup, with a shirt very loud and colorful that it’d entertain babies and hide any spitup with the dizziness of it’s design. She was down to earth, in a very not highfalutin’ kinda way. You could easily tell she didn’t get into town or out much, and because of her awkward social interactions conversations went from fun to OMG switch the subject now please!


Snobby-Bitch though nearly got a “I’m being nice but really I want to slit your throat” talkin’-to from me. I have very very little patience for people who repeat themselves multiple times or insist that their way is the best way to do something.. especially if they’re interrupting you and not listening to what you’re saying.


Had this not been a birthday party for my friend (surprise on me, I didn’t know till I got there) I would have let her have it.  (And by let her have it, I would have given her a very nice speech in my nice clipped tone with extra nice words about how yes I heard her and it’d be nice if she’d be quiet now.)


We were discussing fashion and shopping. I was trying to tell Downer Debbie that dresses can look good on any woman, but you need to find the right dress.  I started to go into my “joys of shopping”… when..

“Oh you should go to Nordstroms!”


I would rather go to the dentist, but I decide to play nice rather than tell her my big ass doesn’t fit into most Nordstroms clothes (nor can I really afford Nordstrom’s prices).  I whip my head around to Snobby Bitch (who is like a size 4 btw) and give her my best “huh” or “WHAT?” face.


“The stylists at Nordstroms are great and they’re free”


I absolutely lose interest. It is very apparent on my face that I could give two shits about getting a stylist.


“Oh you’ll love them!” She insists.


I attempt to explain again how I love to go and pick out my own stuff.. when she interrupts me again.


“Thats what the stylists do for you. It’s great they know just what to get you, and bring it to you.”


“Ok thanks, but I like to pick out things on my own thats…”  I was going to say ‘half the fun of it’ but she interrupted me again.


“No really you should go to Nordstroms. The stylists know which fabrics are good and will last and which ones won’t. They’ll help you find the good stuff.”


“Thats great, but I already know how to do that myself…” Whats that? Interrupted again?


“Yes but the stylists will do it for you, they’re so good. You really should try Nordstroms.”


I swear I debated putting a fork in her eye. Instead I changed my tactic.


“Yes I’ve done stylists before and I don’t usually like what they bring me..”


She interrupts again.

“Oh you have to get the right one that fits you and your style.”  (We do about 3 more of these interruptions) “And they’ll give you their card and you can call them when you want to go shopping.”


At this point, I’m nearly about to turn on her and ask, “Is my dress that fucking ugly that you really think I cannot pick out my own damn fucking clothes?” I was honestly feeling insulted at this point.


But I was good and kept my mouth shut. Instead, I changed the subject to something else so I didn’t stab her eyes out.


I swear to God it felt like I was trying to argue Christianity with a bible thumper, and all they’d say was “but the bible says so here” no matter what point you made.


It didn’t’ help the evening any that the meal choices were mostly fish (I’m allergic) and pretty much everything else I’m allergic to.


The bills came and there was an extra $5 for appetizers of which I didn’t eat nor was I even consulted on which ones to order. I considered it a birthday present to my friend who I didn’t get to talk to the entire time.


The entire dinner lasted 3 hours.  I was so aggravated by the time we finally got out of there that I just drove home to relax in a place where there are no people to annoy the crap out of me.



  4 Responses to “Things I do for friends…”

  1. That sounds horrible. Truly horrible. I can’t stand it when people don’t hear what I’m saying. Ugh.

  2. That sounds horrible. Truly horrible. I can’t stand it when people don’t hear what I’m saying. Ugh.

  3. New Post: Things I do for friends – "Oh you should go to Nordstroms!"

    I would rather go to the dentist, but … http://ow.ly/1e21vK

  4. New Post: Things I do for friends – "Oh you should go to Nordstroms!"

    I would rather go to the dentist, but … http://ow.ly/1e21vK

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