Mar 152011
 

Tonight was frustrating. I started out at an event hosted by an awesome friend, and I half drop by just to see her.. and half drop by because it’s free food and I’m poor.

Anyway, I run into this girl that I know.. who says we must go drinking together and that she’s all mine tonight. Next thing I know she’s agreeing to stay for drinks, and putting me off.. making me wait.. wait .. wait.. OH and there’s this girl I don’t know that we’re waiting for.. before we can go “party”.

Great.

Well it turns out the waiting was worth it as we ended up at a free party I wouldn’t have attended otherwise. Free Drinks. Free Food. Free Ice Cream.

Yes, if I haven’t gained 10 pounds from all the “free” stuff this SXSW I’ll be shocked.

Anyway, she introduces me to a ton of people… half of which I don’t remember now.

Anyway, I go to refresh my drink (for free mind you.. how awesome is that? – Thanks Google btw, oh and for the free glow in the dark glass) and in front of me a guy turns around and starts to talk to me.

Then he starts to flirt, and when I ask, he says he’s alone as his other compatriots have left for other venues. So I introduce him to our “crowd” as it was.

He spends the entire time talking only to me. He mentions having had a profile recently on OkCupid, and I mention that I have one as well.

It comes time to refresh drinks, and he asks to refresh mine, but I decide to just go with him. I’m nice like that.. plus I wanted alone time with him.

He was geeky. An IT lawyer. Cute. Smart. And loved Office Space and could quote the Princess Bride. (I wanted to lock him in the nearest basement)

We talk about my work, and he says clearly several times that he needs “private tutoring” in a flirty joking but not really joking flirt.

We refill our drinks and return the group. Most of the group then decides to go to a bar far far away, so Geek-lawyer, Mike and I stay.

As things go.. we run into some friends of mine. They greet me with open arms.. they’re also all male.. and they’re also completely platonic friends. But Mr Lawyer doesn’t know that.

Hee heee heeee

Anyway, eventually I tell Mr Lawyer off to the side that these guys are friends of mine and that they’re like little brothers to me.

He obviously relaxes. No question about it, he sighs relief.

The party and free booze has ended, so we head to the next “free booze” party. He makes a point to stay by my side the entire way and look out for me.

We get there.. and I run to the toilet. The last party only had portapotties so I was waiting for real toilets and crossing my legs.

I get back, and he’s waiting for me. I grab a free drink, and we tackle the party together. We spent most of the time talking one on one.

At one point though, he points out a “nemesis” which is talking to a friend of mine. So I break up that conversation.

Nemesis and Lawyer end up in a conversation.

Nemesis: “Yes the wife and I…” blah blah blah-bity-blah “How about you? Any kids?”

Lawyer “yes, I have a 6 yr old and an 18 month old” (this is the first he’s brought up kids and he seems to be watching my expression for “running away” looks.)

He doesn’t mention a wife, but merely mentions kids.. so I’m good.

It’s shortly after this point that I realize this guy is being awfully attentive without being handsy. Which is usually a good sign that a guy is used to relating to women within the confines of a committed relationship. He was always checking in with me, and making sure I was happy.

I did have a guy be attentive and handsy… and Mr Lawyer seemed quite in a rush to part me from that guy (that guy was hotter than Lawyer btw).

But I realize.. despite giving Lawyer several opportunities to touch me or take things to another level.. he doesn’t and seems to avoid it.

It is then I start to pay attention to his hands and look for the ring.

His ring hand suddenly always seems to be in his pocket and when it was visible it was behind his other hand. Odd.

We head to another party. We’re crossing a busy street and he lags behind.

Suddenly he shows up beside me and offers me a gold bangle-bracelet. “Here this is a symbol of my undying love for you.”

I know full-well he just saw it on the street and picked it up to give to me. He actually risked getting run over by a car to do it as well.

It was a sweet gesture, and I gladly put it on my wrist.. pretending to believe his claim of undying love as all good flirty girls who have been plied with free alcohol do.

Then we get to the next bar. I’d been standing non-stop for nearly 5 hours, so I took a seat. He asked if I wanted anything.

“Spaten Dunkel.. if they have it.”

He said they did.. but never ordered it. He got caught up in conversation with some stranger.

I went to the toilet. When I came back he was glad to see me, and wanted to make sure I wasn’t being neglected. I put him at ease, and got distracted talking to someone else. He moved off in a conversation with someone else as well.

Then I decide .. F’this.. Lets see what he does.

So I walk over and boldly put my arm around his waist through the “arm hole” he’s made by putting his hand in his pocket. He doesn’t complain, but also never removes his hand from his pocket nor puts his arm around me.

At this point, I am watching like a hawk for this ring. Sure enough, I finally see it.

He never took it off, just was very good at always having that ring finger out of sight. He continued to hide his hand the rest of the night, until Mike, Lawyer, some other girl, and I left looking for pizza. (or at least thats what Lawyer said he wanted to find.)

We end up going a few doors down to another bar. Lawyer & Mike get our drinks, while the girl & I sit down at a table.

Lawyer: “What would you like to drink? Vodka on the rocks, right?” (He gets bonus points for actually wanting to buy me a drink, and for listening… it’s an attractive trait in any man.)

Me: “Aww thanks, but just water please.” (It was nearly 2am when the bars close, and I needed to drive home.)

He and Mike return to the table with 3 shots and my water, only Lawyer doesn’t sit next to me, he sits next to the girl. Mike sits next to me, and both of them pay complete attention to this girl.

I watch Lawyer’s hands to see if he slips up again with his always absent left hand. The girl is sitting on his right, and for the first 10 minutes we sat there, his left hand stayed in his pocket out of sight.

Then suddenly, Lawyer and the girl are holding hands for a second. Then he brings out his left hand.

It had to be on purpose. It had been so elusive all night, and suddenly now its making a big display as he clasps his hands before him and rests them on the table making certain that his left hand is out for full view of the ring on his finger.

It’s now 2am and we get kicked out of the bar. I barely get a “nice to meet you” as he walks away. Doesn’t even bother to walk me to my car, or linger at all. Just waves and walks away.

The Ceelo song runs through my mind… “Fuck you.. and uh, Fuck her too!”

(Seriously if you’re going to pretend all fucking night that we’re awesome friends and inseparable, at least have the decency to act like a good friend at least when we part goodnight.)

  12 Responses to “The Married Man Deception”

  1. New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception (aka Fuck You You Fucking Fuck) http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  2. New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception (aka Fuck You You Fucking Fuck) http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  3. NOT cool. What the heck?!? 🙁 RT @maruskamorena: New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  4. NOT cool. What the heck?!? 🙁 RT @maruskamorena: New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  5. That whole thing was a mind fuck.

    • LOL yes… yes it was. Fortunately though he did give me a pass into his events this week where I get free food and drink. So I may have the opportunity to slap him sometime. 🙂

  6. That whole thing was a mind fuck.

    • LOL yes… yes it was. Fortunately though he did give me a pass into his events this week where I get free food and drink. So I may have the opportunity to slap him sometime. 🙂

  7. RT @maruskamorena: New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception (aka Fuck You You Fucking Fuck) http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  8. RT @maruskamorena: New Blog Post: The Married Man Deception (aka Fuck You You Fucking Fuck) http://ow.ly/4eT9V

  9. I think Shakespeare had it right about all the lawyers….

  10. I think Shakespeare had it right about all the lawyers….

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