Feb 072011

I’d pretty much written off Ken on New Years, but was a little disappointed that he hadn’t called or tried to get together with me since. You know my ego was liking that he was so addicted.. or so I had imagined.

But then a little over a week ago he called. I had my ringer turned off so I didn’t even see the call until he’d already left me a voicemail. He said that he’d had some financial issues, and work stuff, and blah blah blah that he needed to take care of, but now that that was done he felt like going out and really wanted to see me.

I thought to myself.. “What? you couldn’t pick up the damn phone to tell me?”

Not that it mattered that I wasn’t really interested. As I mentioned, it was ego. I thought about calling him back, but I honestly didn’t want to see him so I procrastinated and just never called him back.

Then Saturday he texts me, and asks me out to a movie. A date sounded kind of fun, and it’s been a month or so since I’ve gotten “lucky”.. I figured what the hell..

So I tell him that I can’t meet that day but I’m free on Sunday. He replies all excited. I don’t reply or finalize plans.

Sunday rolls around and no word from him. (yes, I was taking a backseat on arranging the date.) Then he texts me and asks if I want to go to the bar to watch the Superbowl with him.

We’d had conversations about sports before. I honestly said I didn’t care for watching sports, and he said he didn’t either.  So I was a little confused by his desire to watch it, but told him to go ahead.

Anyway.. we text a while and arrange to meet up after the Superbowl.  He asks if i want to go to Sherlocks (all the reasons why I wrote him off on New years start floating back to me, I am not a club girl) I decline and get him to agree to see a movie.

I meet him at his place (which is half way to the cinema), and I swear he has shrunk even more than last I’d seen him.  I don’t know how he manages to keep getting shorter but he does.

We hug, and he goes in for a kiss.  Dude, I’ve not seen you in over a month, you really think we’re at kissing stage? Whatever, I make it a peck of kiss and switch the subject.

It didn’t help that when we got in his car, his breath had this chemical smell to it (the smell that turns my stomach and no one else seems to be able to detect but me) and it filled up the car with this bad breath smell.

On our way to the cinema, he talked endlessly about some kind of whatever boring crap. First mentioning that he had no income the entire month of January, and about a root canal he had.

I knew it wasn’t going anywhere good when I couldn’t even pretend to care.

We get to the movie, and he again insists on paying… for everything. What is the point of talking about how much money you don’t have, if you’re going to pay for everything? It honestly made me wonder about his financial stability and priorities.

The movie got going.. he wanted to hold hands. It felt weird.. strange.. odd. Sooo not good signs.

After the movie, we get back to his place and I can’t stop yawning.  (No really I was tired and not just faking it) He asks me if I wanted to come up to his place, I said I was tired and need to go home.

Despite that I originally planned the date with the intentions of using him for sex, I just couldn’t bear to hardly kiss him let alone imagine doing anything else.

We go to hug good night, and I realize that I actually have to bend down to hug him. I swear to God, I don’t know how he keeps getting shorter.

We said good night, and I know he wants to go out again.. I just don’t find him attractive anymore.. not even a little.

Poor Guy.

  2 Responses to “The Death of the Magic Penis”

  1. New Post: The Death of the Magic Penis – I'd pretty much written off Ken on New Years, but was a little disappointed… http://ow.ly/1bdmNa

  2. New Post: The Death of the Magic Penis – I'd pretty much written off Ken on New Years, but was a little disappointed… http://ow.ly/1bdmNa

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