Zoosk and OkStupid both seem to think that I am a cat lady, as they keep trying to fix me up with men who love cats. Not just love cats, but have one.. or two.. or more. The latest and greatest from Zoosk’s wonderful “Matching” system brought me a link to a guy who.. not only owns a cat, not only has pictures of his cat on his profile.. but dresses up said cat in outfits, and one of the pictures is of them rubbing noses.. all cute-like n shit.
For the record, I do not hate cats. I AM ALLERGIC. I also do not want to be dating the “cat lady”. I’m sorry you cat loving men, but I just cannot take it when you show yourself to be more of a spinster than I am. (PS, I also am not attracted to men who wear women’s clothes, in public or private. It’s just not sexy to me.)
Then I got a notice that I had email on POF (plentyoffish.com for those of you not “in the know”). So I go check it out. My profile says I’m not looking for commitment. I put it up there because I kept getting messages from guys who wanted casual sex, but lied about it because they thought they could trick me into screwing them and then they’d run off. And I kept getting messages from guys who are seriously looking for their next wife.. like right now. Plus, I’m not really looking for commitment right out of the gate.. really just the thought of commitment still makes me cringe a bit.
So I go read my email. The guy isn’t horrid looking, and is honest that he’s just looking for something casual. His profile though says that while he’s looking for something casual, if things should get serious it should happen naturally. Right up my alley! But I also notice that he says he doesn’t want children.
So I write him back and tell him I agree about the casual and serious stuff happening naturally, and then I ask him if his “no kids” policy was a permanent life decision or if it was just something he wasn’t into right now. Because if serious stuff happened naturally, I’d like to go into this knowing just how serious to allow it.
He replies “Children are way too expensive and too much work. I have a very nice life with zero stress or responsibilities. Not having children is the main reason I can do it; there is no reason for me to change that.”
I suppose I should give the guy some points for honesty. But seriously men, if you say this to me, you should never ever expect to get laid.. unless of course I happen to know you’re hung like a horse and I want to try you out… wait.. no no.. you’ll never get laid.
You see.. what this says is.. “I’m a selfish prick.” or if you need more explanation “I like spending my money on me. I like the world to revolve around me. A life with children won’t revolve around me, so I have no interest in them.”
You see… the world can’t possible revolve around him, because it’s too busy revolving around me.
Dating Sites = Celibacy