Step 1: Seek out or find a way in which a person has hurt you. Most times you won’t have to look too hard. Other times you may have to invent rules of conduct that the rest of society doesn’t adhere to.. For example: Anyone who looks like my ex-boyfriend and likes Lord Of The Rings to the point of having the entire DVD set, and quotes the movie is obviously a complete douchebag and deserves to be hated.
Step 2: Put on blinders. This will prevent you from seeing any good parts of the person to be hated, making it much much easier to progress to steps 3 & 4.
Step 3: Find more proof to support your hatred. You can’t help but occasionally hear your friends or others say good things about the Hatee, but lucky for you you’ve got your blinders on! You can’t see the good stuff, but boy oh boy do you see all the bad things.
‘Omg those pants are SOOO last year!”
“Did you just see him speak harshly to that waiter?”
“Seriously? He’s dating THAT?”
Step 4: Hold on to your hurt with both hands and do not let go. You hate them for reason. They deserve it. Keep holding on for dear life. You can’t let them get away with what they’ve done. Hurt them by hating them. Hate them until it’s all you have.
Step 5: For the overly ambitious, widen your hatred spectrum. Add the following policy: “If someone is friends with my hated, then they too shall also be hated.” Let your hatred fly. Give it wings. Soon all the world will be your hated, and you will rule the world with your hatred.
I mean… without someone to hate, who are you?