For starters, Friday night I went out with some friends. One of which, Getty is completely obsessed with strip clubs, and now is obsessed with being someone’s Fag Hag. She also just got a 666 tatoo, so we’re all a little WTF worried about her.
I honestly think she’s gay, she’s just not done anything or much of anything yet.
So to get out of going with her to the gay club.. I’ve never been to one, and the one she wanted to go to.. I could just tell that it wasn’t going to be my kind of place at all. I called a friend to see what they were doing, and invited them to come with us.
They were drunk and stuck at a closing restaurant.. so they hopped at the idea and I became the DD. They agreed to be buffers at the Gay Lounge.
The Gay Lounge was.. on a Friday night at 9pm.. rather bare… er empty. Those that were there were the older gay men upper 40’s and higher. The bar itself looked like something you’d catch disease in. It was decorated in what I’d call “Gay Hick” as it resembled more of the country biker dive bars than it did anything remotely gay, though it did have twinkle lights, so I guess thats something. The only way I knew it was close to gay was the dress code. Men were dressed country, but in such a manner that would have caused any true hetero country man to get his ass beat. It was a little bit like lumberjack or the marlboro man meets Prince. (If you’re thinking WTF, so was I)
I wanted to flee the moment we walked into the bar, but to be polite to Getty, we stayed for a drink. I drank it fast. And we decided to move onto somewhere else. Getty stayed.
Anyway, the remaining 3 of us… Rick, Roma, and I.. all go barhopping. We stop first at a bar that I hate. Roma wants to say happy birthday to a friend of hers. Neither of them had been to that bar before so they only had my word on how lame it was. I don’t think they believed me.
We drive up, and they exclaim. “Holy crap, you weren’t joking. Do they hand out douchebag badges here?” “Is it buy one douchebag get one free night?”
We park anyway and go in. Roma goes to say Hi to her friend, and I follow her. It is then that my path is blocked by a drunk guy who has his back to me but keeps moving to block my way.. I assume unintentionally… but nevertheless he bumps into me repeatedly.
He then turns to look at me, “Oh wow, sorry but your boobs are so big its hard not to bump into you. I like it!”
He then proceeds to try to pick me up. Ewww. WTF?
Rick & Roma spend the entire time we’re there, cracking jokes at the expense of the douchebags and hoochiemamas that populate the place. Its too hilarious. Especially since both of them are never ones to say a bad word about anyone.
We head to the next place.
In which somehow we end up discussing the movie “Secretary” which is one of my all time favorite movies. It’s SOOOOOOOOO hot. (seriously, watch it with me and you’ll get laid.. well if you’re a guy and I find you even remotely attractive.)
I honestly do have quite a few friends who are into BDSM type things, and for those that know me well (or at least read in depth on here)… you know I border on it too. I dabble at best. It requires a LOT of trust.. which I find nearly impossible to obtain that level of trust needed in someone else. Maybe someday.
Anyway, Rick, Roma and I discuss it. We discuss the people in it.. people we know.. people we’ve met. Roma is all sorts of uncomfortable and blushing. Rick and I quickly see that she’s an innocent. Rick also quickly sees that I am not. Oops outted myself.
One of these days I’m going to be able to watch my tongue. Luckily neither of these people care what I do, as long as I’m safe and safe about it… which is not something most people ever worry about with me.
We headed home. Woke up Saturday morning with my throat swollen and sore. Luckily I was breathing fine, but my ears & throat were on fire, my body ached, and movement of any kind left me dizzy. I was also a little nauseated. Not a normal thing, but pretty sure it was an allergic reaction to something. I’m blaming the Ace Pear Cider, but I don’t know. (again, WTF?)
So I spend all day in bed and on Twitter and other things I can do laying in bed not moving. Ended up taking a good 5 hour nap, on top of the 9 hours sleep I had. My head hurt, but I could type.
So on twitter, I flirt with some English dude. He’s pretty hot for an English dude, and I tell him that. I ask if he’s single. He is.
He offers to come visit Austin for a week. Once clarified that I’d only be obligated to meet him for drinks or lunch or something once… and not entertain him for the entire week.. I agree, but found it creepy and weird. WTF?
Turns out I find the one attractive dude in England who is single, and has friends in Austin that he’s not seen in a while.
He’s booking his trip.