It’s not real love. Ok, it might be a start at real love.. you know.. “The first time I saw him, I knew….” blah blah blah.. But basically this is mostly of my own imagination.
To be honest, the first time I saw him reading me.. I swooned. I mean really.. what is a guy like that doing reading a girl like me?
But its not all romantic dreamy.. He has his flaws. Flaws that only make him more human and lovable. His flaws are like scar wounds. Things that show where he’s been and how he’s pulled through. Things that show he knows that balance between work and play, reponsibility and irresponsibility, love and.. war.
There is nothing I’ve learned of him so far that hasn’t endeared me to him.
I mostly admire him from afar. I read him. I’ve looked at his pictures. I’ve heard his voice.
I see his IP showing that he’s read me, and I smile. It brightens my day. He comments on something I posted, and my heart does a little flitter.
But when I think about possibly meeting him.. and all the things that a real relationship entails, I start to panic at all the things that threaten to shatter this happy silly girl love.
He’s a dream of a reality that I’m not ready to experience. So I’ve not pushed things or tried to make things more than the ethereal dream they are right now. I’m not ready for this dream to end, or for reality to come crashing in.
For now its enough, this little love from afar, flirting play we’re in. Maybe someday, I’ll be brave enough for more.