May 242010
 
The World According to TwitterI’m supposed to be getting married today.
Ok.. so thats a joke.. or at least I hope to hell it is. If he’s actually waiting for me in Vegas right now.. I’m SO SO sorry.. but I’m not showing up.
It was a long twitter flirting session with a nice guy, a longtime Twitter friend. It started as jokingly planning to be parents together, which gave me some ideas of maybe why I scare off people that are already parents.
I threatened to make the kids run to school while I whipped them from behind (in my sports car) to hurry up. (It was to help them get better soccer/running skills, what?)
I refused to get a minivan, and instead opted to throw the kids in the “back” of a Miata. (In all those kidnapping movies, no one ever dies in the trunk.)
While completely insane jokes.. I’m pretty sure only the parents with a good sense humor (or extremely horrid parenting skills) would stick around.
On another note… I am a scared chicken. Maybe a groundhog? Or whatever else that runs and hides in its hole at the slightest signal of fear?
That would be me and social networking (& dating actually) right now.
Last week, I decided to be a little crazy and just added anyone on my Facebook suggestions who had more than 3 friends in common with me.
Funny enough, they all added me back. Sight Unseen. Never talked. No comment, no email. Just “added” and went on with their day. Totally normal Facebook.  
I assume that they, like myself, assumed they’d get to know me over time by seeing my feed which would give us something to talk about.
Then there was one.  Who added me. Then found me on Twitter and added me. And then sent me this via Twitter:
“Where have you been all my life?”
Which I hoped like hell was a joke, and replied to it as a serious question.. (my way of joking back)
“Probably in the bathroom or in bed. It seems statistically thats where most people spend the most time in their lifetime.”
Ok, so it wasn’t a funny response, but it was a response.
Then he publicly asked me to clarify some personal information.  Well if any of you remember the whole debacle from a week ago.. You know that my online trust is at an all time ZERO.  This person is also a dating blogger, meaning that my trust is even lower than zero as I just don’t know him and don’t know who his friends are, alliances, or motives. To say that I crawled in my “safety hole” would be an understatement.
So I DM him. “Why” (aka why do you want to know)
He replies with a compliment, and again asking for clarification on the personal information.
I reply only to the compliment, with a “Thank you.”
He then asks me where I live, which is not a secret.. everyone by now knows I live in Austin.
“Very cool. I love it down there. Stayed at a great hotel whose name I forgot..”
To be honest, I had no idea how to reply to this. Its Austin. Hotels are pretty much hotels. There’s only one hotel here that isn’t your normal run of the mill hotel (sure there are fancy hotels and sleezy hotels, but they’re normal for fancy or sleezy). 
M – “well theres lots of hotels here, but only one awesome one.. the Driskill”
Dude – “I don’t think that was it. I would def fit into austin.”
(ugh, by this time, I’m just tired of talking. I’m also still in my protective hole, so I’m not investing a lot in my responses. I just don’t trust this guy … yet. I guess.. and am not seeing the point.. so I get flippant.)
M – “then you should move here.”
Dude – “can I come visit first?”
(My head is seriously trying to spin off my neck at this point. A. He already claimed to have visited once. B. He doesn’t need my permission. C. Oh god back off… I should have just told him that I wasn’t in the mood to talk right now.. but no.. I do my normal.. lets burn this to the ground.)
M – “I dunno… did you get exiled and told not to return? if not, then I’m sure Austin would be fine with it.”
Dude – “Do you go and see music all the time and stuff??”
(a music buff.. great.. please keep proving to me this conversation is useless.. please please.)
M – “not really. not all the time. sometimes.”
Dude – “sorry my questions are kind of lame ahahah imagine what a date with me would be like!!”
(Finally dude is picking up on signals that I don’t want to talk to him. Maybe the 20 questions will end. Please please… Maybe we can actually have a conversation someday without it feeling like an inquisition?)
M – “you’re kinda scary :)”
Dude – “:-/”
M – “its ok. I’m just extremely skittish and kinda a bitch”
Dude – “awesome. you belong in nyc”
M – “lol.. i’m not that much of a bitch.. Chicago is more my style.”
He didn’t reply again. Can’t say that I blame him much.
Sadly, had I given into my inner-panic-voice I’d have just Twitter-blocked him from the moment he asked me about my personal information, and this conversation wouldn’t have happened.
Or I could have just outright told him that I don’t discuss my personal information, though that would have looked like a denial and made him ask more personal information..
Or I could have just been a bigger bitch sooner.
He’s probably a nice guy, and just wanted to get to know me better. *sigh* who knows.
I just know that my trust in meeting new people through Twitter (and Facebook actually) is severely damaged.
I used to just be a happy go-lucky girl on those. It’s really going to take me a long time to get back there.

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