May 272010
 
Encyclopedia of Urban LegendsBeauty is in the eye of the beholder… or as a tshirt I saw the other day “Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder”
Either way, beauty is subjective. So is attraction. So is everything else that comes along with dating.
Who is fat vs thin? 
Who is smart vs stupid?
Who is funny?
Who knows how to party?
All of these are subjective, especially when it comes to dating.
Women want a nicely sculpted man.
If you ask nearly any woman, a man with chiseled features, an inshape body, 6 pack of abs… is pretty darn sexy.
However, if you look at the guys that women build relationships with.. most of those aren’t the guys that spend all their time at the gym.  Actually, some of them probably don’t even see a gym on their way to get beer.
Because as superficial as we women can be.. when it comes to picking a mate.. we’re more about the inside than we are about the outside.
That doesn’t mean that a well sculpted male body won’t turn our heads.. it just doesn’t activate our hearts.
Just as being funny doesn’t mean we’ll want to be around you more than once, or that you can programme our computer means we’ll want you to stick around. Even the life of the party has its flaws that will get us to boot you out.
If you can manage to have a well defined (not super human) body, and still be well-rounded, mentally stable, fun, intelligent, patient, and understanding.. You’ll be the catch of the day.  But in the real world, no one body type is going to catch every woman.
For each person there is a different criteria, and different priorities.  There are too many variables.
Women Want A Nice Guy
Uh.. define nice.  I tackled this a few months ago, as I don’t really believe in the “nice guy”.  Its honestly one of the things that guys describe themselves as and I tune out.  I’ve gotten much more hurt (or just found them to be insane) by a self-proclaimed “nice guy” than I have by anyone else.
Most guys who claim to be nice.. in essence are ball-less bastards who make dating more confusing, more deceptive, and less “stable” than their brazenly evil counterparts. 
Women want a man who is nice to them. This means he doesn’t keep things from her. He doesn’t just let her run all over him. He is an entity of himself where she fits well with him. He is loyal, trusthworthy, honest, loving, and someone she can lean on… and honestly someone she can fight with without fear of bodily harm, and some hope of being heard.
Women Crave Stability
I’d say yes, yes, yes  we do.  However, we don’t like to be bored to death.  While dating the proverbial accountant with decent $$ sounds promising, and there is a time in every woman’s life where they consider snagging some boring rich bastard just for the security and stability..  There always comes a point where too much is enough.
We like waking up and knowing who is beside us. We like knowing that that person will choose to be with us day after day after day. We like having a life where we’re not constantly wondering what terror tomorrow will bring.
However, we also like to grow, learn, experience.  So we like trying new things, or going new places, or throwing caution to the wind now and then.  We like a little bit of a challenge to keep us moving forward.
But we also only really feel confident to throw caution to the wind once we have a minimal level of stability under us. For every person this is different.  Some people feel great throwing caution to the wind with just a little bit… others need much much more.
More to the story..
And with every bit of evidence of proving or disproving Urban Dating Legends.. theres also more things to consider that can change anyone from a “YES” to a “Oh God No”..
Unmarried vs Divorced (Past History)
Republican vs Democrat (Politics)
Kids vs No Kids (Thoughts on Children)
Parenting Styles (Methods of Raising Children)
Vegan vs Meat Eater (Food)
Animal Lovers vs I hate your pets (Pets)
Age
Race
Cultural Conflicts
The list goes on.  So even if you do everything RIGHT… that particular relationship can be all sorts of WRONG for you. They may just realize this first, and may make it look like.. an Urban Legend.. when in reality they just can’t handle watching you eat peas.

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