May 172010
 
Breach of TrustAfter the debacle on Friday, I strongly considered closing shop.
As it turns out there are 30+ bloggers in category Blogger B vs Blogger A.  Of those 30+ bloggers, I found out two of them were people I considered to be good friends.
So that I’d not received an invite or heads up or even consulted at all.. Hurt a lot. 
Not to mention the numbers of other bloggers in their group.. which I didn’t know who was or wasn’t in the group.. and found myself wondering.. Who do I trust now?
I received several DM’s through Twitter of people showing me their support and agreeing with my post on Friday. I wondered if these people DM’d me out of fear that showing public support would adversely affect them. I know I wasn’t the only one hurt, distrustful, and a little scared.
I wondered throughout the weekend about “what if I say something negative about someone? will I be next?”  Because lord knows I cannot keep my mouth shut if I think someone’s talking a bunch of BS.
Then I found out that some private information that I’d given to people because I trusted them.. had been told to people I didn’t authorize..
The smoke coming out of my ears nearly set off the smoke alarm.
The amount of betrayal and whispering behind closed doors that I felt was going on.. I’d not experienced since High School, and is not something I ever want to experience again.
So I spent most of this weekend out.  If I was home, I’d think about my computer.. and this.. and I’d get upset. Being home was stifling.
I hung out with friends I’ve not seen in months. I drank vodka. I drank beer, and I even tried to kill myself off by eating fries that I was pretty sure I was allergic to.. They were damn good though.. until I got sick.
It honestly wasn’t until Sunday night.. after a very fun afternoon of beer drinking.. that I started to relax and put things into perspective.
As much as I’d love to be able to.. I can not control what other people do or say. I have to accept them for their choices, and move on to what is going to make me happy and what I can live with.
I can only be me.
So I’m back. A little worse for wear.. a little less trusting (I know, who’d have thought that possible?).. and with a little bit bigger middle finger.
I’ve got some juicy stories that I’ve yet to write up..  So don’t worry.. fun fun will be had here again…

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