I was talking to my fellow blogging friend, Jack, this morning and we got onto a conversation about dating and dating bloggers. About how often, dating bloggers have a really hard time dating, as their dates may be a little off-put by being a potential subject for an article.
None of the men I’ve dated know about this site. Ok, one ex-FB does. He’s since disappeared, but I’m not sure one had anything to do with the other.
Jack however is about as open book as you can possibly be.
Jack asked, “How do you tell them?”
To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I will. I might. Maybe. If I think its getting serious and omitting it starts to feel a lot like lying. (I have a huge conscience.)
But for the most part, I’m not going to tell. This blog, while very public, is a safe private place for me. Where I can say what I feel with very little censorship to spare anyone’s feelings. It is a combination of self-help, advice, opinion, and personal diary. Not to mention that this blog could very well be used as a “How-to” manual or cheat-sheet for dating me, as most girl’s diaries are.
Just as I would never turn to my boyfriend and say “Here’s my dairy. Oh and here’s the key. If you ever feel like reading.” I’m also not about to tell them about this site. I am not that kind of crazy and them knowing would really make me anxious.
I’ve experienced tastes of that anxiety already as a few men have contacted me through this site.. thus already knowing about this blog.. and have been mentioned on the blog. Writing honestly about my feelings, perceptions, and impressions about people while knowing they have access to it.. is extremely anxiety-laden and I found myself not saying things like I would have normally nor being as honest about my feelings.
Could you honestly imagine Mac’s face if he’d seen half my posts about him? The guy would have been running for the hills from the psycho-stalker chick who was just a little too much into him.
For the most part, so far, what I’ve written about people who can read this.. has gone over well. I actually have a couple friends who, once they saw they were “finally” mentioned, reacted as if they’d finally gotten their name in the newspaper. My past experiences have not been so lucky (though not as good of friends) as people often get upset because they weren’t mentioned enough, mentioned too much, or they feel I was just downright cruel in my portrayal of them.
Any kind of personal blogging is laden with potholes and backfires.. I just prefer to keep that exposure to a minimum.
What do you think? How open about your dating blog are you?