Dear R. Don Steele,
You are an ignorant ass. Sure sure, the affection mentioned in the letter between the girlfriend and her guy friend is a big red flag.
But to say point blank that guys and girls cannot be friends… Whoa Dawgies!
Please come out of the dark ages and join the rest of us in civilization.
To say that guys and girls cannot be friends.. is pretty much to also say that a gay guy and a straight man cannot be friends, a lesbian and a straight girl cannot be friends… actually you might as well as say lesbians cannot be friends, nor can homosexuals be friends with each other.
Its possible that you’re too locked into your penis that you honestly believe that everyone else has such a huge urge to copulate that they’ll jump anyone suitable for the task.
Or maybe its perhaps you find nothing valid in the opposite sex worth being friends with them. Are you secretly a misogynist?
Hope you have a good knuckle-dragging life,
My response to that lovely letter would be…
You need to talk to her. Calmly. She’s with you. She’s chosen you. So if she’s doing something questionable, you need to set the pattern now in your relationship that you two talk. Communication is key to any relationship.
She needs to know that his physical attention to her makes you uncomfortable, and makes you wonder about her fidelity. You want to trust her, but you’re not used to this kind of friendship.
If she does not stop allowing this guy to cuddle with her in public, then you have your answer. If she’s really with you, she’ll work this out with you so you’re both happy.
Do not however make her choose between a “long time friend” and you. He could be a FWB or just a good friend.. if you throw this card for jealousy reasons, she’ll toss you to the curb no questions asked. As the saying goes, “Bros before Hoes”, he’s her bro, you’re the ho.
If you want to make this relationship last, you are going to have to stick in there. Show her that you trust her and you’re there for the long haul, but that she’s yours and you want the world to have no questions about that.
Talk to her.