I’m aggravated in a way that only silly people, usually women, can aggravate me. Looking back at things, I realize that the crux of the problem is simply that I thought we were better girlfriends than we were.
We’d spent hours chatting online. Commiserating. Talking, and occasionally joking around with the same people. We’d responded to each other on a relatively regular basis and told each other “secrets” in DM. One such conversation was actually a “no-compete” conversation where she asked me not to flirt with certain gentlemen, and I in return told her someone I wanted to be “hands off”.
In most girlfriend circles, online or off.. that means a real friendship. Or at least it should.
It all started with me retweeting a philosophy which I’ve pretty much always embraced.
“if you don’t *want* to be with me? fuck off and don’t waste my time. really.”
Now when I retweeted this, the person I retweeted thought that ME retweeting it was hysterically funny. (insert headspin here)
So I asked her why it was funny, because my initial response to that was to kick her ass for insinuating with her laughter that I like to chase after men who don’t want me. I stifled it to wait for her reply.
While her answer, relieved the aforementioned insinuation/asskicking, it instead started up a whole new ball of wax.
She said that one of my “Followers” was “mind-fucking” with her, and she blocked him. By my retweeting it, he then could see what she’d said about him.. getting back at him.
Now as a good online girlfriend, she should tell me who this person is so I can avoid the same pitfalls.. Right?
She would not. She giggled around it. Told me that this person was someone I liked, thus would not tell me.
Now if this person is such a menace, my liking him would be all the more reason to share his identity.
Still she would not tell me, WTF?
So I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out who this person is. There is only one man on twitter that I’ve ever mentioned to her that I really liked. I’m relatively sure its not him, and if it is, then her misreading his intentions might be more her fault than his.
Now there are plenty of men on Twitter that I like, and probably more that people would assume that I like. Some I’d love to date if we were local, but we’re not. They and I flirt now and then, but we’re just friends. We might think about more if we were closer, maybe. So.. umm..
I have no idea who she means. But what gets me more than anything is her refusal to share. It just not good online girlfriend etiquette.
So she then tells me not to worry that he’s just a “crush” she has. Someone who flirts but isn’t interested in her.
So now I’m kinda pissed that she’s blown this up to be such a big fucking deal when it’s not.
So being the good girlfriend, I try to bond with her by asking who this crush is.. I mean maybe since I know him I can give her tips on how to catch his interest or commiserate with her in his superficial flirting habits.
She replies, “Ha I’m not tellin 😉“
Oh dear lord, had she been in physical proximity I’d have slapped that damn smile off her face. Of course if she’d have been in physical proximity she’d have seen on my face that taunting me with this crap was NOT going to make me friendly.
So I reply, “Whatever. I’m done”
She catches my drift. “Don’t be mad. It doesn’t matter who I have a crush on. Never going anywhere.”
If its truly never going anywhere, there is absolutely no harm in sharing. Just dramatics and fucking with people.
Moral of the Story: Don’t fuck with me. One of the absolutely worst things you can do to me is convince me you know something I don’t, about someone I might care about.. then not tell me who or what it is.. then treat me like a child or that I’m not safe to tell.
A. If you really feel that way, and aren’t going to share.. Don’t fucking imply that you will, or bring it up. Its teasing, childish, and rude.
B. If you do, you’re liable to find yourself in hot water with me.
Eventually I’m sure I’ll get over this and be friendly with her again.. I just won’t trust her or anything she says. I won’t ever imagine that we’re friends again. She’s in the frienemy box and it’s not easy to get out of it.
(See also Moxie In The City’s commentary to this post: How Well Do You Choose Your Girlfriends?)