Dec 152009

As someone who is relatively newly divorced, I take issue with complaints about “separated” statuses or divorced statuses. Sure sure there are creeps out there, but most of the truly married dudes aren’t going to be using “separated”. Instead they’re going to be using “single” or “divorced”, because it gets more play.

I take issue that people speak for God. And there are lots of stupid legal red tape that has little to do with love, relationships, or anything… as to why people are “separated”.

How I was raised, I was completely divorced in the eyes of God the day my husband left me for another woman. His sexual congress with her and telling the world he was with her, and discarding me, more than declared in God’s eyes that I was divorced according to the Christianity that I was taught. However, legally I was still married.

So in all aspects of being honest, I placed “separated” on my status until I was legally divorced.

I don’t have issue with people that don’t want to date “separated” people. Its not usually a good choice for long term love affairs, but not everyone is looking for something long-term anyway.

Telling someone that they cannot date because some paperwork wasn’t finished, is infantile. You don’t know their situation.

There are people who have been battling to get a divorce for over a year, who in honesty should have a “separated” status. Do you think it fair that they be alone for years and dateless because their ex keeps dragging out the process?

Separated can mean many things, but most of the time it means the paperwork isn’t finished for whatever reasons those might be. Rarely if ever does it mean they’re working on their marriage.

So maybe instead of auto-piloting into judging, you should ask questions instead. Seeing “separated” in any case shouldn’t irritate you or anger you, instead be glad they’re being honest and move on.

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