Dec 092009

Ok. I tried to keep this guy off of here mostly because he reads this and I didn’t want the fallout, but I cannot hold back from comment.

In general, I’m pretty good at sniffing out the “crazy” online. So when my spidey senses start tingling, I often listen. I was trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, but sheesh… honey.. learn how to talk online.

1. It’s online. ONLINE. We’re not in-person, so you have to relax and give it time to interpret.

2. It’s online. ONLINE. So if someone doesn’t respond right away, maybe.. just maybe they’re doing something important (sleeping, working, bathroom, washing their hair) that takes their time away from answering you. Or maybe they have a life.

3. It’s online. ONLINE. So if someone says something slightly offensive, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. or at the very least re-read it.

4. Online or Offline.. being spontaneously defensive over little crap is not NOT NOT attractive.

5. You mentioned you’re into “NO DRAMA”. This for me is a huge red flag generally meaning that you’re all the drama yourself, or that you enable drama. Either way, just being around you is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. (as if 1-4 weren’t enough to prove this to me)

6. Talking to you makes me want to drink.. heavily.

The Conversation:

Mixer: Thanks for following! How are you? [I started following him because I found out he was single.]

Me: doing good.. and yourself? [yeah I’m that eloquent baby]

Mixer: Doing fine, thank you for asking! How was your day?

Me: days been good. actually got some stuff done. Hurray! And yourself?

Mixer: Got some things done! Going to get some other stuff done! Sorry to hear about mr.text! It’s what you wrote, his loss [we’re talking about Drew here]

Me: thanks. its ok. he was too young for me anyway [too young, too hesitant, too I don’t care anymore]

Mixer: Well glad your ok with it! I’m glad we are talking! What do you like to do for fun [this question is a necessary evil, but the way my mind works its impossible to answer. Seriously, I’ll either end up giving you a 200 page report or a one word answer “umm”]
Mixer: Well I hope your smiling and your having a fantastic day, hope to chat more [8 minute delay and he’s heading out. Ok we’ll talk later.]

Me: Fun.. lots of things. Mostly the company thats makes or breaks it. Hope you’re having a great day as well [so I try to reply to both txt’s at the same time for when he gets back.]

Mixer: I totally agree with you! I’m glad I messaged you, looking forward to getting to know you [Dude.. you’re way excited. Besides you already exit strategied, I figured you were leaving.]

Me: Thanks you too [I have no idea what else to say as I’m starting to get my spidey sense tingling that he’s desperate.]

(Conversation ends til morning)

Mixer: Good morning! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Mixer: -invite to some cheezy game – [really? wow.. he’s really dating stupid]
Mixer: Hope I didn’t say anything wrong! Like to chat with you!

(all this was before I’d even gotten to my computer that day. In his defense I got to my computer at 2pm, but sheesh.. come on. we’ve only had one chat and he’s already panicking?)

Me: You worry too much. Relax. Just let things happen if they’re going to

Mixer: Ok no problem! Sorry how’s your day going?

Me: going good. So how long have you been single?

Mixer: I am glad things are going good, i have been single for awhile. I don’t settle for just a good time or someone for the moment. I would like to be with someone who likes me for me not for what i do, as a dj, and i love music. Not into games or drama [wow excellent dodge of the question.]
Mixer: How long have you been single?

Me: about a year. I’m only asking because you seem out of your element. Maybe its just twitter. [online is not everyone’s forte]
Me: Well I can honestly say I won’t be after you because of what you do. I like good music, but I’m not an addict. [I live in Austin. You are required by law to like music if you live here]

Mixer: An addict! I’m not a club Dj I do weddings and Xmas parties etc! So your gonna judge me just by that [whoa dawgies. wtf?]

Me: Are you joking or you defensive?

Mixer: Ummm neither, just seems like you say your not interested cause of what i do. So isnt that judgemental? i am a great smart sweet kind guy [lets also put passionate, emotionally volatile, and sensitive]

Me: Where did I say I wasn’t interested? sheesh dude, chillax. [If I have to tell you to relax more than once in a day about two different things, we’ve got problems]

Mixer: Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry I mis-read what u wrote! I’m truly sorry and I apologize! I’m chilled sorry [should I repeat chillax to him again?]
Mixer: I’m sorry maybe your getting the wrong impression of me and yes Twitter doesn’t help lol I’d like to talk and get to know you

Me: Reading is a big challenge. 😛 [me being funny while annoyed to all hell]

Mixer: No I know how to read sorry just multi-tasking and I miss read it I apologize

So where do I go from here? Seriously. I do I lie and say its ok.. or be honest and tell him he’s too freaking high-strung for me?

I need some xanax.

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