Nov 282009

I was pulling into the parking lot and I got a text from my friend (the one who invited me – aka dragged me into this) who was already at the place. She said that 20 women and 25 men had RSVP’d for the event. She was freaking out.

She has no reason to be freaking out. None. The girl is smart, fun, and gorgeous. No no.. I’m not just saying that. She actually had pageant awards that say that too. Her one big flaw, maybe more than one, is that she looks her age (my age) and is eating-disorder skinny (no boobs). But so far in my time of knowing her, none of the guys have cared.

So that she was freaking out at all, I found hilarious. I talked her down and arrived at the place shortly. Got myself all signed up, and went to find her.

There wasn’t many people there yet, and the organizer said while it “started at 8” they wouldn’t really start the speeddating until 9 or so. Maybe 10 people in the entire bar, and only 3 of those were there for the Speeddating. Candra, myself, and some guy named Ted. So we talked to Ted, and joked that by the time we actually started that we’d already have had all the dating done.

Ted is totally my type physically. So when Candra introduced me, and I said “Hi” to him.. I really wanted to say “Hi! My name’s Maruska. Wanna get out of here?”

Ted was 6′ or maybe 6’1 or 6’2. Tall Texan, broad shouldered, dark hair, and had hands that … well.. lets just say I couldn’t stop wondering what they’d feel like all over me. He was also a bit on the older side for me, but handsome enough for me to overlook it. He was fun and chatty, and I decided right then that I wanted to see more of him.

Then another guy came in and joined our group. Funny enough his name was also Ted. He was also older, but damn hot. Red head, but hot despite that. His english accent did not hurt things either. He seemed into Candra, but was nice enough to me that its hard to be sure.

We all chatted for a while and had drink while we waited for it to start. We waited. Talked. Waited some more. Our backs were to the rest of the bar so we didn’t get to see other people filing in. If I do this again, I will be watching the doors next time.

Finally we started.

The Teds were our first dates. My first date was with Texan Ted. He claimed to be an import from somewhere else (PA?) but after talking to him he was full Texan. While he was still hot do-able, he was no longer a viable long term interest. We scrounged for anything of a common interest other than beer. Since he might be good for sex, I marked him a yes.

Second date was with British Ted. While he wasn’t exactly what I am looking for, he is hot enough, smart enough, and fun enough to give him a try. He owns a bar, and travels. I’ve completely forgotten what it is that he does on his business travels or even why he’s in Austin. But we laughed and had a good time. So I marked him a yes.

Third date was with Frank. Frank was fun, and a computer geek. So we chatted easily and had fun. But he’s also about 4 inches shorter than me (maybe more), and looked about 16 yrs old. I initially marked him a maybe thinking that maybe if I thought on it.. that he’d grow on me. I had to decide by the end of the night if he was a yes or no.

Fourth date was with Blane. I know.. gay sounding name, but he’s not. He works doing creative drawings for games, sooo cool of a job. He’s freakishly hot. Not in that typical model kind of way but in that slightly geeky well-kept metrosexual but manly kind of way. We had a great conversation, and I was swooning or was that drooling? Totally marked him as a YES.

Fifth date things started to go downhill… FAST.

Fifth date was with Ray. Ray is a doctor. Yes a physician! (I know sounds great, but seriously there’s a reason he’s single) Who practices outside of Austin in some podunk town I’ve never heard of and will probably never go to. If living in podunkville wasn’t enough, his tech-education included turning a computer on and vaguely knowing how to email (He just learned this year! Yay Ray!). His social skills are relatively non-existant, and then there’s his looks. He was bug-eyed, like he had hyperthyroidism, bug-eyed, and a very dorky face, dorky coordination, and really looked like a “special” kid all grown up. I felt bad for him, but not enough to mark him as a yes.. I marked him “NO” as there wasn’t a “Hell No” slot.

Sixth date was with Saruanatan or something. He was Indian. Real India Indian. Nice guy. But Indian and way too short. He seriously could have said anything to me, but since my experiences earlier this year with India Indians.. I’m not dating any of them for a long time. I marked him “no”.

Seventh date… OMG stop the dates.. I’ve had enough. I’m full up on social.. really stop the dates!

Seventh date was with … another Indian. This one wouldn’t have mattered what cultural background he was. He looked like he was strung out on something or had Parkinson’s or something. I marked him “no”

Eight date was with Topher. He seemed nice enough. Decent looking and we had a relatively painless conversation. I got the impression though that he was only looking for sex. Not that he’d ever mentioned it, but just got that impression. I figured I’d give him a chance to prove me wrong. I marked him “yes”

Nineth date was with Rick. Nice guy. Works for the government doing something with jails. I could see him possibly fitting with my personality long term, but I didn’t really feel much chemistry. So we’d either hit it off on the next “date” or we’d be best buds. I marked him “yes”.

I looked over my list, and agreed with all my votes and then looked at Frank again. I marked him “no” and felt a little guilty about it at first.

Then out of nowhere this guy plops down in the seat across from me. I was out of patience. 9 dates and I was done. No more new people.

The guy thought he’d be funny.

“Hi, My name is Tristan. Wow me!”

As if I even had the patience to deal with some drunk bloke from England, let alone any WOW left in me.

I glared at him. He was damn cute, tipsy, and having fun. At any other time, you’d have had to peel me off him, but this night I was ready to string him up by his balls just for fun.

“Isn’t that how this works? You sell me on you? Pitch yourself to me”

“I don’t sell myself, asshole.”

“Well I just wanted to know more about this speed dating thing, and now I’m an asshole?”

He stopped trying to be the cocky ass that he approached me with, and turned on his real personality. The real him is fucking hot.

“Well, what we do is just have a simple conversation. CONVERSATION.”

“Ok, then lets talk. start over. Hi, I’m Tristan from London.”

“Hi, I’m Maruska. So what are you doing in Austin? What brought you here?”

I could see in his eyes that he really wanted to reply “a plane” but refrained. He really is that kind of smartass.

He instead talked about visiting some friends. We talked a good while about his travels and my travels (or my lack of travels in comparison to his travel-junkie ways). We actually had a really nice chat, but he kept telling me he was breaking the rules. He was out on a boys night and no girls allowed. He did introduce me to all his buddies though, and I have a little crush on him. Guys with charm and balls.. what girl doesn’t swoon?

He and his friends soon left the bar in search of another, and I waited for my friend to finish her scoring. We’re supposed to get the results sometime this weekend.

After the dating was over, a bunch of us minus a few (Topher and the girl next to me ran out together. From the little I talked to her, they were going for sex) went to the bar next door for a drink.

Candra had to go to the bathroom so I waited for her. While waiting, I ran into Gail and some guy I’d never met. Initially I assumed she was on a date, but after saying our hello’s they both asked me about the speed dating. Turns out they both came to see what it was like before trying it themselves. So he’s single?

I initially wasn’t sure what to make of him. He seemed nice and polite, but he was a red head. Not really my thing, but he was also quite handsome. I’m not sure on his age, but I do know he’s older than me. I know little to nothing about him other than that, despite our talking. How we managed to talk about nothing for hours, I have no idea but we did.

Candra came out and we all went to the bar next door. On our way there we found stragglers from the group looking lost, so we invited them too. By the time we actually made it next door, our little group was 8 people. In order to join the other group, we all had to move to a bigger area. Yeah baby, I bring the crowds! (actually I’m pretty sure the last 4 guys in our group were following Candra).

Blane and Candra sat alone and talked most of the night. Blane was too far away from me when we’d all sat down that I did not even get to interrupt. 🙁 But it was good for Candra to meet someone, unfortunately I found out later that she won’t give him the time of day because he’s 25. He’s a sweet, wonderful, educated guy with talent and a good job… hell he’d be really good for a short term thing for her. She has a habit of only dating the biggest assholes alive.

I spent the night talking to Gail’s friend Boggs, Gail, British Ted, and Frank. Initially on sitting down next to Frank, we talked for a bit and I started to wonder if I should have picked “yes” on him. Then about 30 minutes later he began talking ignorant like only the really young and stupid can do.. arguing the English language history with British Ted.. that I was extremely thankful for clicking “no” on him. I have a very low low tolerance for stupid.

Since I had to get up early the next day to prep for Thanksgiving dinner. I was preparing pie and potatoes for the potluck at Gail’s house. (It was funny running into her the night before.) So I ran out early around midnight.

British Ted gave me a hug goodnight, and I waved bye to Gail and Boggs as I’d see them the next day.

I’m not sure if I’ll do speed dating again, but I might. In a way it fed my Diva-ness. “Oh times up, nice to meet you…. NEXT!” But answering the same questions over and over soon becomes a torture. Hard decision. We’ll see what the results bring.

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