Oct 292009

I still don’t think I’m quite over last Friday’s debacle, as I really am in an antisocial funk right now.

Saturday, I forced myself to go out. Seriously. So I went to this lovely beer festival, and drank some beer. Then I decided to torture my dog.

Actually, I went to the festival with the excuse that I would try it out with my dog. I grew up with dogs that did nothing but stay at home, hunt rodents, bark at neighbors, and wait for us to come home and feed them. So when I finally got a house, I got a dog and did the same thing.

Well now that I don’t have a house for the dog to attend, I feel quite a bit guilty for the completely boring life the dog is now leading. She wants to be with me 24/7 anyway, so I thought I’d work on trying to socialize her.

I went to the festival late, and checked it out before I brought my dog. It was pretty calm, and not too many other dogs around.. so I thought I’d give it a try. She did great other than trying to crawl under the tables to get away and hide from everyone.

She also helped me get hit on by way too drunken strangers. Cute drunken strangers, but still drunken. So don’t discount your dog as a way to meet men.

Since she was obviously traumatized by way too many people… She’d been looking for an exit since we’d arrived. We called it an early night.

So Sunday I stayed in and was so anti-social that I didn’t even get on the internet or answer my phone. Monday I stayed in. Tuesday I stayed in. I of course got quite a bit of work done on cleaning the apt. Laundry done. To-Do lists made.

I would have also stayed in on Wednesday, but I had some “prizes” to claim and went to a “Timeshare” sales schtick.

New Social Rules:

1. When feeling antisocial, do not attend any kind of sales related thing.

2. When #1 fails, be honest and tell sales person to “F-OFF”

3. No prizes are worth the trauma of a bad sales pitch.

I am seriously traumatized. The “timeshare” was on a “resort” out in timbucktu Texas. So getting there was lots of driving and not pretty scenery, but views of rundown farms, forgotten shacks, and places that time (& its employees) had forgot. Everything around this “resort” was in dire need of a paint job if not an exterminator as well.

The “resort” was the equivalent of my apt complex if you added a lake, skiball, a dive mexican restaurant, and a cheesy giftshop. No spa treatments, masseuse or even a hair salon on site.

The lady spent nearly an hour asking me what she called “rhetorical” questions that she expected me to answer. I don’t think we agreed on the definition of “rhetorical”. The entire schpeil was an insult to my intelligence, and so much so that I interrupted her talking and told her to (and seriously I quote) “get to the damn point”.

I cannot seem to put adequately into words just how mentally insulting her sales pitch was. I’m trying, but the words just do not express it adequately.

I spent 2 hours of my life that I’ll never get back with an uncultured unintelligent woman who has never left Texas except to go to Mexico once or twice trying to sell me a vacation package. Her sales skills were aimed at people who .. like her.. have never seen anywhere but Texas and don’t want to see anywhere but Texas, Branson, and outback Georgia. (I’m much more of a downtown NYC or Chicago, Tahoe, San Fransico, London, Paris, Venice, Prague.. kind of person.)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the migraine I had when I left there. I did however get a couple “free” trips out of it, but it was so not worth it.

Evie (thank god) went with me. She tells me that not all timeshare presentations are this excruciatingly painful. She said that that “resort” was where timeshare salespeople went to die. But I tell you this now.. I will not be going to another timeshare place in Texas for a very very fucking very very long freaking time.

I drowned my aching head with a beer when I got home, and I really really don’t want to leave my house ever again.

Unfortunately I will. Tonight is another “Flirting” group meeting. So off to the showers I go to make myself pretty.

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