Sep 292009

I’ve been horrid about not updating you all. Bad Maruska, Bad! So I’ll try to take the next couple days and fill you in on my wild weekend.

I’ll start with Friday night. After such a wonderful night Thursday, I was starting to get the social bug again, yet I was feeling lazy and just wanting to be comfy. So curling up on the couch at home and watching Netflix sounded great, but so did going out.

My options for going out (if I want a chance at flirting with anyone) are very narrow. I either have to go by myself, or go with one of my various social group events.

Since I wasn’t really feeling social enough to go out by myself. My only other options were to call one of the boy-crazy girls I know to go out with me, or to attend an event at a club downtown with a group that is either fun or extremely mindblowly boring and you never know til you get there which one it was going to be.

Decisions. Decisions.

I decided to just go to Whole Foods and pick up a few things then back home to my couch. In the off chance that I might run into someone cute, I put on my sexy jeans (also amazingly comfy), a thin tank top, and a new cardigan that was stylish yet super comfy. No earrings, but my hair and makeup were already done while I’d debated on whether or not to go to the club.

So off to Whole Foods I go (its about a 1.5 mile drive), and half way there I decide instead to just go to Terra Burger (closer) and grab a bite. Now fully decided to binge on organic burger, organic fries, and cane sugar soda, I wait in line for 20 minutes in drive-thru, get angry, get more hungry, then down the burger and fries as soon as I get them instead of savoring them while watching Netflix. Oops. Ruined that.

So on my way home, ok about a block from Terra Burger is the entrance to the freeway to take me downtown and I just get on it. Screw it, I’m remotely dressed somewhat attractively and if men don’t like it they can go screw themselves.

So I get to the club, run into some old friends, hang out for a bit. They had to work on Saturday so they left, and I got bored. It was then that my ex-friend (the girl from the 4th lesson on my Women Who Hate Women post) Jessie showed up. While I hadn’t forgotten completely what an insane bitch she is, I did wonder if I’d made more of it than there was. Plus I was bored, didn’t feel like going home, didn’t feel like staying there, and didn’t want to go somewhere else by myself. I’d paid $10 for parking; I might as well get my money’s worth. No?

So I told people I was leaving. Jessie overheard and asked where I was going (one of her favorite clubs thats at least not 100% meat market, so tolerable for me) and asked if she could join me. I said sure.

While going there, we ran into an acquaintance of mine out with a friend of hers. Chrissy is a great girl. She’s fun and outgoing, but not fake. I think she might be a bit crazy which is why she’s not really made it far past the acquaintance stage, but she’s fun to be out with so I may have to upgrade her friend status. Jessie (she’s not stupid, she knows she’s not high on my friend list – actually she’s not high on anyone’s friend list) sees that Chrissy is fun and spirited (fresh friend meat), and talks Chrissy and her friend into joining us. I’d rather hang with Chrissy than Jessie anyway so I’m all for it.

So we check out the club, then we decide to join Chrissy on her club-hop. She’s finishing up her divorce and hasn’t been to many bars downtown. She was wanting to correct that, and even though I’ve been to most of the clubby places downtown and hate them, I was more than willing to show her around. So the four of us go club hopping to lame club after lame club, until we decide to try a place I’ve never gone. Its packed, and while its not entirely lame, it is filled with model-type hot men and model-type hot women. The four of us looked very out of place, and 3 of us were well aware of that. Jessie however was delusional enough, and is psychotically boy-crazy enough to think that she can “score” in there. Thankfully we outvoted her and left.

Jessie then went on and on about how we needed to go to Qua. Now I haven’t mentioned an actual club name until now, mostly because the lame clubs know who they are. Qua however does not. I hate Qua. Qua attempts to be a beautiful club for beautiful people. They are known for their dress code, which is essentially if you’re not dressed up and smoking hot you’re not getting in unless they’re so desperate for money that they’ll take yours. My first attempt to get into Qua I got in no problem (jeans, and Chaco sandals). I was completely unimpressed. Next time I went to try to get in.. private party, then they don’t let people in with jeans. I’d only attempted to get in again because some friends were in there, and after the jeans fiasco I said I wasn’t going back. So I tried to talk Jessie out of it.

But Chrissy wanted to try it out. Now let me tell you a bit about the four of us. None of us are skinny. Jessie has a pretty face but thats it. She’s short and round. I’m big and round. Chrissy isn’t a small girl, but pretty in her own right and wearing jeans. Her friend had a pretty face, but thats it as well even though she was smaller than the rest of us, she dressed so badly for her body type that she might as well have been 300lbs. There was NO WAY that Qua was going to let us in, even if we were dressed up fancy.

Jessie was all braggy that they’d let us in and when we got to the door, she was first in line and sure enough we weren’t getting entrance. They said we needed to be wearing heels. Jessie went off on a tirade about how lame it was that we had to wear heels. She totally didn’t understand that four heavier women weren’t going to get in let alone how sloppily we were dressed, but I let her rant.

Since we were about 10 steps from the best tacos in town, I talked them into going for a taco. When we got there, it was only me getting tacos. Chrissy’s friend had just eaten pizza. Chrissy and Jessie refused to eat from a roach mobile (which in downtown Austin at night severely limits your choices). So they all stood about 20 feet away talking and chatting, while I ordered and waited for my food. You’d think one of them would have at least kept me company but no.

Once I got my food the only place to sit and eat it was at a table where a semi-attractive man was sitting. So I asked him if I could join him. I’d noticed him earlier and was actually kinda happy that this opportunity to meet him had opened up. We talked a bit about tacos, and his work. He’s trying to get a start up off the ground and had just gotten off work. He asked about my night and I’d told him that my friends had been dragging me around to lame clubs, but at least I was getting good tacos. He laughed.

Next thing I know, the girls are right beside me. Not to be rude, I made introductions. It was then Jessie took over. She tried to be all smooth about it, but the guy wasn’t that stupid and kept meeting my eyes with a look of “I’m sorry she’s taking all my time” or “I’ve not forgotten about you”. Then she made him move over so she could sit. She could have easily walked around and sat on his other side, but no.. lets make him move to put distance between him and me.

He finished his tacos, and Jessie was all about inviting him to join us at our next club. He is not a club guy. I knew this from 3 seconds of meeting him. He did however want a beer, and so I chimed in with my knowledge of beer places in the area. The Gingerman was a half block away and I wanted to go. He’d heard of the place and was amazed it was so close. He was going.

Unfortunately, the girls had already made it sound like we were definitely going to this club and Chrissy’s friend had already headed there. So at least one of us had to go get her. We watched him walk to the Gingerman, and Jessie and Chrissy ooo’d and ahh’d over him being such a great guy. He’s ambitious and cute and has a job.. OH MY!

I told them I was just going to go to the Gingerman. They said “Oh no you can’t, you’ll look too desperate. He already knows you’d planned to go to the club. You need to wait a bit”. I could have cared less really. I just wanted to relax with a fucking beer and talk to someone cool. I really didn’t think he’d be interested in anything else anyway, but I listened to them and went with them to the club. Entered. Sat. Stood up.

“Ok, I came here. Now I’m going to the Gingerman.”

Chrissy and her friend were having fun so they stayed, but Jessie couldn’t get her things together fast enough to join me. As we were walking to the Gingerman, she said to me:

“I’m not ready to concede him to you yet. He’s such a great guy, who knows which one of us he’s interested in.”

Concede? Oh hell no bitch, you horned in on something I already had started. I made the effort to meet him. NOT YOU. And you came in and took over. So very not cool. If we ever were friends, we really aren’t now.

So we get to the bar, and he’s standing at the bar with his beer. I take the stool right next to him (on his other side is some other guy so she can’t get in there) and begin to talk to him about his beer selection. We talk beer for about 15 minutes, while Jessie is standing behind us pacing and trying to find a way to get near him. There was an open seat on the other side of me, but she wouldn’t’ take it. She asks him if maybe we could all just get a table, but him and I look at each other and say we’re fine here.

Then she pushes her shoulder between us and makes him take a step away from me. I think she was reaching for something at the bar but I can’t remember. It was then she mentioned how she wanted to sit down, and so to be nice he stepped to the other side of his stool which he wasn’t using and let her sit between us.

Him and I didn’t get to speak the rest of the night. Chrissy came in upset. Some guy canceled a date with her that night, and she saw him at the bar with another girl. So I went to talk to her. Then I mentioned we should all get a table, and he agreed.

When I went to sit down, he moved over for me to sit beside him on the bench. Jessie moved to sit on the other side of him, and then endlessly non-stop talked to him about this that and the other thing. They work in similar fields so mostly it was about that. But his head was facing her the entire time, and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She noticed that she’d totally edged me out of the conversation and seemed to gloat. So instead of leaving them alone, I stayed.

The bar closed. We all walked to me to my car. Since they were both parked further away, they then walked together to their cars.

I won’t be giving her any more chances as friends. Really Really Done.

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