Aug 142009

I started watching “More To Love”. I don’t normally go for the “reality” television, and usually avoid anything to do with “bachelors” or “bachelorettes”, but my curiosity about “More To Love” got the better of me and I started watching it.

I really wanted to see just how bad they were going to do it. I feared huge segments on the girls eating habits, or that the guy in question would be a jerk, or something horrid. But so far I’m mildly surprised.

The bachelor seems to be extremely nice and sensitive to a fat woman’s feelings and plight… sometimes a little too much so.. like he’s a player almost.. but at least he’s giving most of these women something they’ve not had in a long long time.. Hope.

A friend of mine stopped watching the show because they were portraying the women as catty and she thought fat women shouldn’t be catty. For the most part, they seem normal to me. Not overly catty, but just a little bit. Sure there are a few women on the show that are major catty, and one is a woman that the bachelor is interested in. (Seriously guy? I understand the attraction of having someone fighting for you, but do you really want to be with someone with that kind of moral fiber – or lack of it?)

There is a different mindset among fat people on attractiveness when it comes to dating. Most of it based in their own insecurities, but you can’t blame them for it. Well actually most of the “never been fat” judgy people might blame them, but its not their fault, at least not totally.

There aren’t a whole lot of people able to date fat people and be normal about it. Normally when you date someone, you want to show them off, have them meet your friends, brag about them, and be with them constantly. Very few fat women ever experience this, fat men experience this more than fat women. Most people have friends who bear hatred for fat people, and a lot of people are chicken to stand up and say “Yes I like this” among a crowd of people that feel differently.

So when fat people date, often they experience “lets stay in”, or “You wouldn’t like my friends”, or “I’m really just a homebody” from the people they date. When they do go out, if their date is really secure they might experience some handholding or looped arms… but usually that is reserved for places where they know none of their friends are. Or sometimes, if the fat person is unlucky enough to date someone truly pervy, their date may do a lot of PDA in the light of “Hey look what this chick will let me do to her in public.”

So I love the show in the way that they bring this plight to life, but I don’t know yet if the message is getting across to those who’ve never truly experienced fat, or if its just coming off as pathetic and whiny.

I will say that I’m half-in-love with the “More to Love” bachelor myself, though there is one big thing holding me back. He said on one episode “Why have a 6-pack when I can have the whole keg?” as his philosophy. This is one of the reasons that many fat women despise chubby-chasers (and why skinny women tend to avoid those guys that insist on women being skinny). We all just want to be happy at whatever size we happen to be at.. we should be prized for who we are not what we weight. It shouldn’t be our goal to be fat nor to be ultra-skinny.

It should however be a goal to be healthy and happy with whatever turns life takes, and strive to be the best at whatever lies before us. If that means we lose 50lbs or gain 50lbs, so be it. As someone who has experienced the skinny life as well as the fat life, I know full well that not everything is under your control. As long as your healthy and happy, who cares. Life happens.

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