Jul 202009

Happens Every Day by Isabel Gillies

If you’ve recently been divorced, do not read this book. I love to read, and to discuss books, so of course I’m in a book club. This was the book for today’s discussion, and of course, I felt compelled to read it and discuss it.

The book is written well. Grammar and all that. Its not a tough read by intellectual standards (I was not looking up every other word for its meaning).

But reading the book, was not unlike taking sandpaper to my heart. Or maybe more like pour salt on wounds that I’d thought were healed.

In ways I had it easier than her. We didn’t have kids. We didn’t have mutual friends (or not many). We didn’t live in a small town.

When my ex left, he left. No contact. No talking. There was no begging him to come back even if I wanted him to, and no answers to my many questions of “Why?”.

But he’d checked out of the relationship many years before, and like her ex he waited until he’d found someone else to leave and communicate that he was even leaning towards it. Once he’d decided, like my ex, that was it.

There was nothing to do or say. It was done.

Today is the cesspool of emotions dragged up by this book, and reliving my own separation and divorce. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk.

And while I don’t want to be around anyone, I really don’t want to be alone. And today, I feel very alone.

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