Jul 292009

Most of my friends are men. Its pretty much how I’ve always been. I’ve had female friends over the years, and some of those have stayed friends of mine for decades, but put on a scale my male friends outnumber my female friends by at least 3 to 1.

In some ways this constant insight into the male psyche has warped how I view men and relationships. For the most part, it has bettered it. Mostly it has allowed me to get a look into the male mind in a way many girls have never gotten the chance to do.

But having this information and insight has also come at a cost to me it seems. Somehow lately I’ve taken on a male’s perspective on life, and dating. Its peaceful actually.

I’m not stressing about “ooo does he like me” or “will he call”.. I’m more relaxed and more take charge of my own sexuality. Whether he calls or not, I’m out there meeting someone else. I’m not waiting by the phone. If he calls great, if he doesn’t thats fine.

If I find the guy I can’t live without, awesome, but I’m not expecting to find him in every date. First criteria, is he fuckable? If not, I move on. Second criteria, is he annoying? (does he talk too much, have insanity issues, views on things that I’ll be unable to live with long term). If he ends up annoying, he’s out of the running on dating, but he could be fun in bed… depending on if #2 changed the answer to #1 or not. Rarely do any make it past #2.

One of my guy friends and I got into a discussion once about men and women and their differences. One of the major differences is equipment. Women have to “let” someone inside them, while men plunder and penetrate. There’s a different spirit to each action, which tends to expand into our approach to sex and sexual relationships. (There are always exceptions to this as with everything you know)

He then asked what I would do if I had a penis. I’ve secretly wanted to experience being a man, and having a penis, so I’ve considered this quite heavily.

If I had a penis, I would be sticking it anywhere and everywhere I could. Pies, women, whatever. I’d want to experience different sensations on it, different textures.. Hell I’d probably go through an entire phase where I screwed as many women as I could just to see what each felt like. Of course, since I’m not really attracted to women, and find most of them extremely annoying, it would merely be putting in my time to gain access to their parts and then I’d be off.

Sadly, this is about how I feel about dating right now. I meet guys that are attractive, that I’d want to be with, but then I also see another one and another one.. and I wonder what their penis would feel like.

After years of sexual deprivation with my ex, I’m not ready to settle yet.

Maybe if I meet the right one. Maybe.

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